This is about a quarter of the whole. I thought it best to start rather than wait for it to be finished as it is so complicated it may take me ages!
The Syphylitic miasm and the Desire for Connection
For Kevin and all my other lovely friends who disconnect themselves from the true knowing of their own inner beauty.
The people who are most vulnerable to this miasm are those with an intense desire to connect. They want to experience other beings directly. They want a barrierless connection, one that is absolute in its intimacy. If they were to connect with a rose they would want to experience the very essence of rose. They would not be as naturally interested in nomenclature and surface details of colour and shape. If they were to paint they would engage with the paint itself or with the stone if they were sculpting as well as with the physical objects that have inspired them. They would seek to become at one with their instrument as well as with the music they are playing. They would offer themselves wholly into whatever absorbs them. They are willing to give of themselves completely, so that they can be received and known by others and they are willing to open themselves as completely to receive what is given in return.
The connection that is most of all desired by these individuals is the meeting of soul’s truth, the meeting inner being to inner being, inner light to inner light, pure love to pure love.
The desire to connect in this way can be seen as a desire to know God/Spirit in all aspects of its expression.
The easiest way to generate a barrierless connection with the soul’s truth of another being is to offer your own soul’s truth fully and clearly, right to the edge of your personal space. Whenever one being is willing to be fully present, and so make the whole of what they are available for connection, then others can experience that singular part of creation’s whole just by opening themselves to it. If those others become (or already are) fully present with their own truth, then an exchange can take place. Truth flows freely between them. Each one expands his or her knowing of Creation. Each is fulfilled in the desire to connect with the essence of all things.
Any individual with a fundamental desire to generate barrierless connections who commits to the giving out and receiving of soul’s truth will constantly expand their intimate knowing of the many and various ways in which Spirit’s love is expressed.
It is easy enough to make the commitment to be wholly and openly true to yourself if you know that the giving out of your whole truth will be met by the returning gift of the whole truth of others. Thus when someone incarnates with this intense desire to connect and is met with pure love and truth, it will be easy for them to relax into their own natural flow and continue to express their own soul’s truth in the world. They will become immensely and powerfully creative. Matter responds wonderfully to pure love and truth so they will have no difficulty in bringing their own creative visions into material form. However, if their gift of truth, open-ness and directness is consistently met with something other than love, for example with fear, hostility, jealousy or avoidance, they may conclude that what they are and what they have to give is not wanted. This constitutes a massive blow to someone whose intention in incarnating was to give wholly of themselves and engage in truth/truth connections with others.
When a child receives this kind of blow to their identity or to their heart they may then go into complete retreat and depression and could well organise their own death. However, if they have a strong inner commitment to do what they came for, they may choose to continue on in their life, even though they no longer believe that anyone wants to connect with the truth of their souls. The belief that no-one wants to connect with their truth leaves them feeling alone in the world. Some may simply accept this state of aloneness as inevitable. They may even extrapolate outwards from their own situation and imagine that intrinsic aloneness is the natural condition of humanity (and that anyone who thinks otherwise is simply deluding themselves because they can’t bear the idea of feeling so alone!). However, if they cannot bear the aloneness, especially if it is part of their own soul’s nature to seek connection, they will find alternative ways to connect. Any connection, even if only temporary, can come to seem like the only relief from the aloneness and the despair. If they cannot rely on their own truth to make the connections they desire then they will find other ways to connect. So the search for connection can become like an addiction, driving their actions. They may cease to care what kind of connection they make as long as it feels real, present and intense. Thus they may begin to seek out the intense connections that can be generated by sexual desire, by violence, by creating shock, by nurturing extreme need, by engaging in the victim/ abuser dynamic. In the search for an intimate connection, they may end up doing things that betray their own soul’s truth, like rape, lying, violence, abuse of power, becoming a victim, corrupting others and so on. Some may seek to make disrespectful, penetrative connections through jealous hatred and attack and some may deliberately manipulate others out of their truth and right path. Because they believe that what they are is not wanted they may try to make others feel equally unwanted, especially those others whose soul’s truth is similar to their own.
The worst thing that can happen to someone with a fundamental desire to seek intimate knowing of the truth of all things is to become completely separated from their own soul’s truth. This effectively bars them from any further truth/truth connections. The more harm one person does to another the further they separate from their own soul’s truth. The further they separate from their own truth, the harder it becomes to make any truth/truth connection. So the drive to generate connections in other ways will be intensified. Every connection that is generated by a betrayal of the soul and every connection that causes harm to another being will dig them deeper in the pit of separation. With each act of soul’s betrayal, they separate themselves further from truth until the only available connections become those with people who feel as contaminated as themselves – and also as intrinsically alone. If they eventually come to feel irretrievably separated from their own truth and from all possibility of truth/truth connections, these people will often then seek to destroy themselves in one way or another.
The feeling of aloneness that comes with a complete separation from your own truth is the most extreme form of aloneness. It is the terrible aloneness of feeling totally separated from the pure love of Creation.
The syphilitic miasm is an aggregate of all human experiences of separation from the inner light of soul’s truth and the consequent inevitable separation from the light of Creation’s love. This miasm absorbs and transmits all the feelings of pain, sadness, regret, guilt, shame, terror and aloneness that accompany the separated state. It creates the darkest of all illusory realities. It’s very essence is darkness because it is the miasm that arises out of separation from light.
You don’t have to have actually had syphilis to be affected by the miasm. You simply have to have taken some action that causes you to feel a deep sense of guilt, shame and isolation, an action that separates you from the truth of your own soul. Whenever anyone takes any action that separates him or herself from inner truth, this action opens a doorway for the syphilitic miasm to seep into them and fill them with its painful darkness. Whether the miasm overwhelms you and/or continues to affect you will depend on the actions you subsequently take. It depends on whether or not you do something that enables you to feel you have made amends for your guilt. Most importantly it depends on whether or not you learn from your experience of separation and choose to reconnect with your own inner truth and not to take similar actions again.
Before going into more detail about the miasm itself and about some of the ways in which separation occurs, I want to state solidly and clearly that no matter what actions a person has taken which have separated them from their own truth, they can always come back to it. The choice remains there. Spirit waits with the willingness to welcome anyone who returns. Ideas about judgement, unforgivable sin and eternal damnation of the soul are ideas created by man (probably by those who have been affected by this miasm!). The soul comes into this world through a body with the intent to express its own nature. It may not succeed. Nevertheless, the soul itself is an expression of spirit and so remains pure. A perfect idea does not become any less perfect just because someone fails in its perfect execution!
Anyone can choose to return to their own soul’s truth at any time. Then they can re-establish their connection with Creation and thereafter begin to create truth/truth connections with others. I will suggest ways that this can be done once I have explained the ways that separation occurs. Once you understand what may have made you separate from your own truth, then it may be easier for you to stop judging and punishing yourself and just get on with making sure you gather all possible learning from your experiences of separation so that you are less likely to separate again.
The syphilitic miasm is an expression of the energy underlying the disease of syphilis, which is the result of infection by a spirochaete. This disease is venereally transmitted.
Syphilis is a terrible disease. It starts with nothing much –a painless little ulcer following sexual intercourse with someone who already has the disease. A month or so later follows the secondary stage which is a severe flu like illness with a rash. If this does not kill you, which it can, the disease goes underground and steadily invades system after system of your body, rotting it from the inside until the damage is such that it becomes visible on the surface either on the body as weeping ulcerations, rotting teeth and collapsing bones or in the behaviour and the mental state.
Syphilis used to be a deeply dreaded disease, partly because it was potentially a death sentence and partly because of its acquired association with guilt and shame. This made it more dreaded in some ways than the plague or smallpox. Those who contracted any of these illnesses were physically isolated, since everyone tried to avoid them for fear of infection. Those who contracted syphilis were socially and morally isolated as well, even though some of those people who contracted it were fundamentally innocent, such as the children of a syphilitic mother or the faithful wife of a philandering husband. Since syphilis is generally transmitted by sexual intercourse, if you were to follow the moral codes of church and society and only have sex within marriage you could not contract syphilis (unless the person you married already had it), thus the contracting of the disease was usually seen as a sign of someone having had more than one sexual partner, which rendered them guilty in the eyes of the church and society and therefore vulnerable to judgement. Guilt, shame and the fear of judgement are inextricably intertwined with this miasm.
The syphilitic miasm embraces all the energy patterns that are associated with the disease of syphilis. These include feelings of guilt, intrinsic badness, worthlessness and a sense of inner darkness and pollution, usually the kind of pollution you feel you cannot ever hope to wash away. People who are affected by this miasm have a dark inner world. They may initially succeed in controlling its manifestations and hiding them under the surface, as this miasm tends to initially operate very much underground, just like the disease itself. However, sooner or later the darkness leaks to the surface, just as it does in the tertiary stages of the disease. It shows up in the darkest mental states, in eruptions of violence, hatred, lust and envy. It is often the driving force behind the paranoia that fears all these things wherever it sees them, whether inside or outside the self. It is there under the surface in the schizophrenia that fears and tries to avoid acknowledgement of the presence of the darkness in the self. It is there in all types of self-generated amnesia, whether this shows up as the post alcoholic haze, where someone allows the toxic intake of alcohol to wipe out all memory of what they did or as the ability to completely suppress the memories of their own negative actions. It shows in Alzheimer’s where people are trying to forget all the things they have done that go against the truth of their soul and in illnesses like multiple sclerosis where there is a systematic destruction of patches of the nervous system that have been associated with the miasm’s energy. It shows up in most situations of abuse, whether that abuse is mental, physical or emotional. It shows up in most situations of severe and self-destructive addiction. It shows up in all sexual behaviour where the sexual drive overrides the sense of personal honour, rightness and the sense of love and respect for the truth of the self and other. It shows up everywhere where there is a desire for power over others, including the power to penetrate their thoughts, feelings, bodies and behaviour with its own thoughts, feelings and beliefs, the power to dominate (the world or the playground!) and the desire to take power from others and use it for its own gain. It is there in the movies, in the black clad villain with his dark energy and his terrible teeth (or their gold replacements!) and his ruthless drives. It is often there in both the jealousy that tries to destroy and the possessiveness that tries to own those who are radiating pure light.
It is always there in the type of black and despairing depression that self generates its own punishment and craves its own destruction.
Someone who is totally engulfed by this miasm will always feel intrinsically alone. It doesn’t matter what actual physical company they keep, the aloneness is always inside them. It feels like being alone in the cold and the darkness. When it is really dense around you it feels as if there is nothing but darkness: darkness and pain stretching endlessly before you with no prospect of relief. When it is less dense it can feel as if you are in your own separate cloud of darkness and although you can see other people radiating light, it feels as if they are distant, as if there is an impenetrable perspex shield between you and them, as if they are in a lighted room and you can see them and watch them but never enter, never be part of that light. This is one of the reasons why people with this miasm frequently turn to drink or drugs (or rock and roll/heavy metal!) for company. The bottle or the drug or the tormented, driving angry music becomes their friend, something they can connect with, something that is always available to give them at least some temporary relief from the aloneness, even if that relief is only either a short period of oblivion or an offer of some kind of connection that will offer a temporary numbing of the pain.
It seems to me that the syphilitic miasm is probably pretty close to what people were describing in the old days when they spoke of eternal damnation and hell. They believed that you ended up in hell as a result of sin. This is quite close to the truth, except that hell is a state of mind, not an actual place. And it is a result of sin/separation from the inner truth of the soul.
The word ‘sin’ is derived from a word meaning separation. A sin was an action that separated you from god. Separation from your own truth brings an inevitable separation from the source of that truth, which is what many people call god.
We are all naturally connected to source, to the light and pure love of Creation’s reality. The direct knowing of the actions that are right for us at each moment stream into us from spirit. We all have the free will to choose whether we will tune in to the light/knowing that flows into us and allow our actions to flow from it or to listen to things coming from outside ourselves and let them decide our actions. Each time you put aside the inner action that was derived from light and replace it by an action whose direction comes from outside yourself, you risk separating yourself from your own source and therefore from Creation’s most beautiful reality. You also make yourself potentially vulnerable to the syphilitic miasm.
Of course we are all going to make mistakes! This is part of how we learn. Fortunately, the moment you separate from your own truth you will start to experience negative feelings like sadness, regret, guilt and shame. Ideally you will allow these feelings to do what they are there for: to draw you back to listening inwards and to drive you to redress any harm you have caused by this action to either yourself or another being. By changing back to listening inward and by making an appropriate apologies and atonement for whatever it is you have done that brought on the regret, sadness, guilt or shame, you will be able to rapidly shift back into alignment with the pure light and love of Creation’s reality. This light and love will still be there and you still have free will to choose to connect with it, no matter how deeply you may have immersed yourself in darkness. The moment you choose to fill yourself with the pure love and light of your own soul’s true nature, the miasm will be completely powerless to affect you, even if you have previously taken many actions that went against your soul’s truth. The temporary experiences of separation that you just had will then act as a powerful incentive for you to avoid similar acts of harm and betrayal of your own truth. Thus you learn from your mistakes how to stay aligned and safe, happy within the light. The memories of pain serve to increase your determination to resist any pressures from outside yourself that are seeking to force or persuade you to take an action that goes against your own feelings of inner rightness.
Primary causes of separation
“In my childhood trees were green
And there was plenty to be seen
My mother wore a yellow dress
When I was five the black dreams came
Nothing after that was quite the same
The dark was talking to the dead
The lamp was dark beside my bed
When I woke they did not care
Nobody, nobody was there
When my silent terror cried
Nobody, nobody replied
I got up: the chilly sun
Saw me walk away alone.”
Abridged extract from Louis MacNiece Autobiography
The vulnerability to this miasm always starts with a feeling of separation. There are several ways the initial experience of separation can occur:
The mother may never properly connect with the child and remain separate from it within the womb and afterwards. This can cause the child to develop the belief about life that there is no connection available for its truth
The mother may connect with the child when it is first born but withdraw her connection later, perhaps when the child starts to demonstrate aspects of its own truth that she feels unable to engage with for one reason or another. Alternatively she herself may become separated from her truth as by post partum depression. Someone who is separated from their own truth finds it difficult to connect with truth in others and may even feel uncomfortable around a child who is radiating a pure inner light. Some people who are separated may feel such pain in the presence of a connected child that they withdraw from it or even hate it. As a result the child receives a shock. It is happily and innocently radiating its own truth and receives some kind of seriously negative response. This can lead it to believe that its truth is unwanted or even that it is bad because it seems to be hurting others. I have seen cases where the child's radiant beauty of being has caused inappropriate sexual arousal in an adult so the adult has felt fear or shame or even horror and the ghild thern perceives these feelings as a response to its truth and concludes that it is unsafe to itself or dangerous to others for it to allow its inner light to flow free.
Maternal connection/ bonding
As I see it the word ‘bonding’ is describing the flow of pure love from the soul of the mother towards the being of her child and the child’s flow of its own pure love in return. The mother or other being who truly loves the child is simply the temporary conduit of the pure love of Creation. This is immensely satisfying to both mother and child and affirms the fundamental connection we all have with the pure love of Spirit.
Once a child experiences this connection and comes to trust in the availability of a flow of pure love from the mother, it is well set upon the path of knowing that love is there for what it is and that it is therefore safe and fine for it to be itself. A child who consistently receives this basic feeling of security will be able to relax and open into allowing its own soul’s truth to flow clearly from it. It will find it easy to make direct and intimate connections with anyone else who is willing to be fully present.
Unfortunately it quite often happens that this initial bonding does not take place. The mother does not open her own soul’s love to that of her child. Perhaps there were difficulties and physical separation at birth, perhaps the mother is distracted and wrapped up in her own fears, maybe the mother is busy trying to be something she is not in order to please or appease others, maybe there is something about the child she reacts to in a negative way which blocks the free flow of her soul’s love. Whatever the cause (and there are many possibilities) the end result is that the child feels disconnected from pure love. Unless the child can see its own angels or there is someone else available to offer the child a pure love connection, it may come to feel disconnected from Love itself, from the love of Creation that is always there for all beings.
Children who do not experience this initial bonding with pure love will frequently develop the belief about life that love is not naturally there in the world for what they are. Despite this belief, some manage to stay inwardly connected with their own soul and with the knowing that it is an expression of pure love. They will hold this knowing within themselves and can retreat into it, like a safe haven, a warm and golden inner cave. Some remain able to see their angels or connect with ‘imaginary’ friends and so know that they are loved. Others may make loving connections with animals or with nature. Some channel their desire for connection into creative expression. As long as they remain connected to this inner knowing of their own truth and go regularly inwards for the feeling of connection with pure love, they will be relatively safe from the influence of this miasm. However, if their own natural desire to make connections is not completely fulfilled, they remain vulnerable. There is always the possibility that they can still be lured into the miasm by the offer of a connection with someone they love when that offer comes with a requirement that they set aside their own truth.
I know someone whose mother never connected with her, not in the womb nor thereafter. The mother was already absorbed within the influence of the syphilitic miasm and her thoughts were dominated by the gratification of her own sexual desires and the power that she could wield over men by radiating an intense sexual energy from her base chakra. The child was full of light and pure love and just wanted to radiate this out into the world and make heart/heart connections. The mother had already chosen her own path and did not want to change. She was consistently hostile to this child and constantly critical. It is probable that the purity of the child’s energy filled her with shame and sadness, so she did not really want to see it, let alone make a direct connection with it. The child did however hold onto her own inner world and keep her connection with Creation’s reality pretty much intact. She also developed very close and loving connections with animals. She carefully avoided getting drawn into sexual connections for many years but eventually ended up in such a connection with a man who was already deeply entramelled within the syphilitic miasm. She then engaged in a massive struggle between her desire to remain true to herself and to create her own warm loving reality and her desire to be with this man and go with him along the paths of his choice and into the places that reflected the miasm. The problem she had was her enduring childhood belief/expectation that no-one would want to connect with her truth and that if she wanted a connection with another human being, she would have to cut loose from her own right path and go along theirs. What she needed to understand was that if she stayed really steady with her truth and simply changed her expectation she would naturally attract the loving connections she desired.
We all need to learn to make our own direct connection with our own inner truth and, through that, with the pure love of Creation. We also need to realise that the clear steady and open radiation of our own truth is the best way to get the kind of connections we truly desire. This is a lot easier if we begin life with the experience of being met with pure love. It is a lot more difficult without this initial experience of being given pure love as a child. However, it is the only real solution to escaping from the dark prison of this miasm, so it must be done.
Inconstant connection – carrots and sticks
Some children may receive pure love initially only to experience its withdrawal later on as part of the traditional carrot- and -stick -training -of -children -to -behave –appropriately program. Thus the child is given love for certain behaviours and love is withdrawn in the presence of others. This can have the effect of gradually luring it away from its own truth. The effect of this carrot and stick training is greatly intensified if the mother periodically opens her heart completely to the child. Thus the child is tempted by its own memory of actually having had the experience of what it most desires. It has known what it feels like to have a perfect truth/truth, pure love, barrierless connection. It naturally wants to repeat that experience. Mother was the source of this intense pleasure and fulfilment so it seeks ways to reopen her heart. However, if it only gets the carrots of love and approval for behaving in a way that is not natural to its own soul, it is likely to learn to construct facades, to ‘perform’ according to the prevailing requirements. Every time it succeeds in obtaining rewards for one of these performances it is setting itself out along a path of separation. If the offer of carrots for ‘good’ behaviour is combined with the thick stick of a complete withdrawal of love whenever it expresses certain aspects of its own truth, the child is likely to conclude that the direct and whole expression of its own soul is definitely not wanted. It will then pour more and more of its energy and attention into doing whatever gets it a good connection, even if this does mean generating layer upon layer of performances. If all the child’s energy and attention is going into generating the required performances, then there will be little left for the expression of soul’s truth. This causes a gradual separation from its own truth with the option of a long slow and painful path into the miasm.
The other situation that can contribute to the feeling of separation in early childhood is the presence of a mother who is spending most of her time in her own head space. This has turned out to be a commoner predisposing cause of initial feelings of aloneness than I initially expected.
The worst nightmare for those who desire the intensity of direct soul/soul connection is to encounter someone whose soul’s truth is completely inaccessible. Truth may be inaccessible because it is hidden behind defensive barriers and performances or because that person is completely spaced out into the worlds in their own heads. Someone who is distanced/ spaced out into the worlds within their own mind is completely inaccessible to the young child who is naturally real and present in its own body. Thus a mother who is constantly worrying about something, busy running her own social performances or dreaming about something other than what she already has will be inaccessible for direct connection to anyone who cannot share in her head space. Mothers who are affected by the TB miasm are very likely to have this drift of attention away from the present. They don’t believe that life can ever be the way they really want it to be so they slide off into their own longings, their dreams and their fantasies. This means they are not available to the child. Children will often cling closely to the bodies of a mother who is absent in her own head. The body at least is real and feels warm, even if the mother’s soul is not currently being expressed through it.
A young child who is faced with this situation and cannot find alternative connections may choose to retreat into their own inner world, to connect with itself. It may in turn shut others out. Some children get a connection by joining in with the performances. Others concentrate their creative energy on doing everything they can to destroy other’s defensive barriers or draw them out of their own head space. They can become extremely skilled at doing this. Thus a child may find that it needs to be ill or put itself in danger to draw out its mother’s love. It may find it drags her out of her head space by being annoying, by breaking something that is precious to her, by making a noise or by having a tantrum. It may learn to deliberately create shock. It may become adept at this and turn into an adult who consistently flouts social conventions because this is the way it originally learned to get attention. What the child wants is full attention, it wants presence not absence. Ideally it wants the loving attention of the soul but if it cannot obtain that it will settle for any attention, as long as the person who is giving it is real and 100% present. In this search to find ways to draw others into full presence it may take actions that go against its own inner truth. The taking of these actions makes it vulnerable to the syphilitic miasm.
The experience of shock
Some children end up becoming disconnected from their truth as the direct result of an experience of shock. This can happen really rapidly and very early on in the child’s life, sometimes even in the womb. The mother may have very negative feelings towards the pregnancy. These include fear and an expectation of pain from the impending birth, which is quite common in Western society. The child in the womb can easily misinterpret the mother’s fear of the pregnancy and experience it as a fear of itself. This will be a shock. If the mother is afraid of pain and the birth causes her pain, the child can experience itself as the cause of her pain. The child has incarnated to give pure love. It will be a shock for it to be seen by its mother as a cause of pain, fear and distress to her.
When a mother doesn’t really want the pregnancy, she may direct very negative feelings towards the baby in her womb, including anger. The baby hasn’t done anything with intent to harm. It hasn’t done anything except be there and grow! So when it picks up her negative feelings towards itself it is likely to conclude that the simple being of itself is not wanted or is causing distress or anger to others. I have quite often found that the baby in this situation tends to retreat inwards, to keep itself small. This pattern of shrinking inwards is then often retained in later life. Thus a grown adult may end up going into a retreat of his/her own truth when faced with an external trigger that reminds him or her of the negative energy that was originally experienced within the womb.
A similar situation occurs if the young child’s truth is directly attacked and especially when it seems to create fear or distress in others. There is an initial shock. The belief that its truth is the direct cause of the anger or distress is then internalised and retained.
If a baby or young child is led to believe that what it is is not wanted, it may learn to conceal its truth and present only what appears to be acceptable. However, if it comes to believe that its truth is not only not wanted but also actively harmful or distressing to others, then it is more likely to self-separate from its own inner knowing of its own truth. If what it is seems to be a cause of harm and distress to others, then it will disconnect from what it is. It may then deliberately exile itself from its own golden cave of inner warmth and safety.
Unfortunately it often happens that the stronger the soul’s initial desire to bring pure love into the world the more likely it is to disconnect from its own truth following any experience where its truth seemed to cause suffering to others. Instead of offering the truth of its own soul to the world, it sets it aside and instead seeks to give anything that does appear to be wanted. It may even take the approach that it must seek out whatever it can do to make amends for having caused this suffering. This makes it hugely vulnerable to being influenced by others to take actions that betray its own true nature. This type of early experience makes it really vulnerable to the syphilitic miasm.
I have seen many people whose problems stem from this type of experience in childhood. They will put all their energy into endlessly compensating for their own imaginary guilt. You may see their truth as glimpses of light, but they will not allow themselves to receive any love for that truth. They believe that their truth is a cause of harm and have made the commitment to set it aside so they do not want to be encouraged to express it by the experience of being loved for it. These people are often very difficult to love! It seems that they constantly thwart any giving of love for their truth even though at the core of their being this will be what they most desire.
Consequences of Facades and performances
It is only the flow of your own soul’s truth into life that brings you into intimate connection with the pure love of Creation and with the essence of all beings who are also expressing the truth of their own souls. So all attempts to create truly loving and fulfilling connections by the use of facades and performances are basically doomed!
Although someone who is constantly generating facades and performances can never engage in a truly intimate soul/soul connection, they can however usually manage to obtain more superficial connections. If you are expressing a façade, you may be able to generate the semblance of intimacy when you spend time with others who are expressing the same type of façade. You may be able to find a role that you can play in someone else’s performance or you may find people who are willing to take up a role in your chosen dramas. Thus people can feel ‘close’ to others who have the same opinions, beliefs, attitudes, style of dress, taste in music, literature or football teams etc. They can also engage in apparently intimate dramas such as the ‘victim/abuser/protector’, ‘boss/slave’, ‘needy and carer’ ‘I adore my version of you and you adore your version of me’ or they can play out various versions of the conventional ‘man/woman/child’ scenarios that are developed within each society. (You can tell when you or someone else is engaging in one of these performances because it tends to have a dead, dull feel. It is likely to be very boring and repetitive and have an “I- have- heard- all- this- before” feeling about it. So it doesn’t engage your total absorbed attention. The flow of soul’s truth is always new and beautiful and riveting. It shines.)
We already know that the worst thing that can happen to someone with an intense desire to connect with the essence of all things (know God) is to separate completely from his or her own soul’s truth. Performances tend to lead towards this complete separation. For a performance to be really convincing you need to engage with it fully, giving it all your attention. If the performance gets the results that you want and the engagement then becomes frequent, you may forget who you really are and come to believe that you are your performance.
Someone who has only partly separated from their own truth for the sake of a performance may still be able to see and recognise the presence of truth in others and will naturally want to connect with it. However if they have committed themselves to obtaining connections through performances, they will have great difficulty in connecting properly with that truth, although it might be easier for them to do so in a one to one situation away from the triggers that normally tip them into producing their facades. If you have ever felt really close to someone when they were alone with you and then noticed them suddenly shift into a distant, separated and false seeming state in the presence of others, then it is likely that at least one of those others is acting as a trigger for a retreat of truth and the production of a performance façade. (Best to be compassionate here in whatever way you would like others to be should you happen to react in a similar way to your own triggers!)
When someone already believes that their truth is not wanted and they conceive a desire to connect with another person who is committed to being completely true to themselves, they know that they will have to bring their own truth fully forward. This would have the effect of bringing back all their old fears, painful memories and expectations of their own truth not being wanted. They may not want to expose themselves to a repetition of the original blow to their own inner being, so it may feel a lot safer to retreat or seek out some alternative method of connection like getting the other person to feel sorry for them. If they have also acquired the belief that their truth is actually harmful to others, they would not even want to offer it to someone they cared for or admired. So they will be endlessly frustrated, afraid to express their own soul and so feeling that they having nothing to give to the other which will be equal to the truth that this other is already flowing. This is why it will often seem far easier for them to limit themselves to associating only with those who are doing the performances that fit in with their own.
It can seem well nigh impossible for those who believe that their truth is a source of suffering to others to step out of their fear and expectations and start accessing their own truth and expressing it. Nevertheless they must do it if they want to get free of the miasm. It will help them to know that they can do it, that they are supported by Spirit to do it and that there will be no judgement or retribution from Spirit’s reality, only a welcome home. All truth is wanted. To believe otherwise is to be mistaken.
Some problems created by the belief in unforgivable sin
“There shall be more joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth than over ninety and nine just persons that need no repentance” The Bible
The beliefs in unforgivable sin and eternal damnation were probably (to give religion and ‘morality’ the benefit of the doubt!) originally generated to try to help people avoid actions that would lead to separation and so to protect them from things like this miasm and maybe from syphilis itself. However these beliefs have inadvertently strengthened the power of this miasm.
If you should take an action for which you believe there is no forgiveness and no possibility of atonement, then you may not feel that it is possible to make redress. Instead you will retain and internalise your sadness, shame and guilt and accept the darkness of separation as your just or inevitable deserts. Then the syphilitic miasm can claim you and draw you into its dark, unforgiving world.
However, the truth is that there is no such thing as eternal damnation within Creation’s reality. The belief that there are certain actions for which there can be no forgiveness or atonement is an illusion created entirely by man. Creation’s reality is pure love and pure love never casts anyone out, no matter what they have done. Pure love just waits for their return to truth and subsequent reconnection with its light, leaving the offer open until they are ready. It is our own guilt and shame and the rejection of our own actions that we project onto Creation. We make God/Creation the supposed source of judgement and condemnation but the source is really ourselves. The truth is that there is no action that cannot be embraced in Creation’s compassion. No matter what anyone has done, they can always choose to return to light, the door is always open for them to reconnect with Creation’s reality. There is no eternal damnation or separation in that reality. The belief that such separation is possible is simply a part of this miasm’s illusory reality and this miasm has been created by the thoughts, actions and feelings of mankind over centuries of judgement. It has nothing to do with god
Although religion has generated ideas about judgement and damnation for centuries in order to try to keep people on the path of truth, the adherence to a belief that there are certain actions for which there can be no forgiveness or atonement is actually strongly counterproductive to the expression of truth as it will inevitably lead to an increase in the number of acts of separation.: Once a person believes he or she is already damned by their own actions, they are more likely to continue with such actions. They may also be tempted to take actions that draw others into a similar state of separation in order to provide themselves with company in their aloneness.
It is understandable that it is going to be intensely painful for someone who has been separated to watch from their own cold surrounding darkness and see innocence beauty, truth and light pouring out of others. When they believe they can never attain that state again, it can seem like a knife in the heart or even a taunt. They do however have a choice as to how they are going to react to the presence of light in others.
Those who have a strong innate sense of respect may try to avoid all contact with the inner light of others in order to make sure that they do not contaminate anyone else with their darkness. If they do not want to connect with others in the separated state because they know within themselves that the separated state is not where they want to be, they may choose to keep themselves in a state of isolation. Their feelings of aloneness can then become so unbearable that they may be driven to seek relief from drugs like the opiates, which temporarily relieve the painful feelings of aloneness or they may choose to take alcohol to an anaesthetic level in order to numb the pain. In extreme cases they will choose death, either through the drugs they have chosen or some other means including fatal accident, illness or straightforward suicide.
If someone with syphilitic miasm experiences themselves as irreversibly contaminated as a result of his or her own actions, the deliberate taking of his or her own life (whether by suicide, ‘accident’ or fatal illness) can often be more like an act of atonement that an act of cowardice or retreat. From the perspective of a deep immersion in the syphilitic miasm’s reality, death can become the only remaining available act of love. These individuals can experience themselves as giving the world a gift by removing themselves from it. They generally don’t believe they have anything else worth giving so they offer their death. If you watched the Alien series of films, you may remember that Sigourney Weaver’s character throws herself into a massive vat of boiling metal when she realises that she is carrying a vicious and dangerous alien within her own body. (Will Smith recently starred in a very powerful film on a similar theme called Seven Pounds. Worth watching but I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you by telling you the story!)
Others try to alleviate the painful feelings of separation by seeking out company in dark places, searching for others to share the aloneness. When someone experiences themselves as alone and eternally separated from light, beauty and love, one of the few things that will give them some relief from their pain is to keep company with others who are equally separated. One possible way to obtain such company would be to simply seek out people places, music art and literature that are already in resonance with their own state of separation. This in itself is fair enough. Although it doesn’t offer any solutions to the separation, it does at least provide the comfort of companionship in that state. There is plenty of music, literature, film and stuff on the internet that could reassure them they are not alone in their separated state and there are places they can go where the darkness is blatant and people they can be with who are equally self-condemned.. The separation from light is still there within each individual but their grouping together may do something to reassure themselves that they are not really alone. Some may even try to justify their position by generating a belief amongst themselves that they are the only ones who know what life is really like (Generally a f****** bitch and then you die! Predictably enough, syph loves the f… word!)
When someone feels totally overwhelmed by darkness and heavily contaminated by this miasm it may not be enough for them to seek out similar company. They may also be tempted to add to that company by passing their own darkness on to others. Because their own connection to light has been lost and they feel hurt angry and resentful, they may deliberately seek out those who are radiating pure light and go about contaminating their innocence and generating guilt and feelings of worthlessness and separation in them. This is like someone who knows they have syphilis (or A.I.D.S these days) deliberating drawing someone else into a sexual encounter knowing that other person then has a high chance of contracting the disease. It is understandable that such actions should be followed by a deep feeling of guilt.
Those who pass on the darkness to the innocent have two types of motivation. They may be seeking to reconnect with light or they may be seeking to destroy it. The more deeply convinced they become that they can never reconnect with the light, the more likely they are to seek to destroy light in others.
When someone is intensely aware of their own separation and yet also aware of the lingering presence of a desire to be connected with light, they may instinctively be drawn to those who are radiating light. But they have nothing to offer as a fair exchange for the connection they desire. They see themselves as guilty and internally tangled with the darkness and they innately know that the fair exchange would be pure light for pure light, so what can they offer to someone who is radiating light and clearly surrounded by it? They may start off by faking the light. They may even manage to let the other person’s clear radiance generate a mirroring so they simply reflect the light back. This will not be sustainable. They may offer something other than true inner light like devotion, adoration or maybe money, status, power or whatever they perceive the other person might want. They may offer sexual gratification (the syph is an expert in this department!) They may try to draw in the connection they desire by emanating need or suffering in order to elicit pity or compassion. Nevertheless, what they really crave is the light/light, truth/truth connection and being surrounded by someone else’s compassion is a poor substitute for being fully connected with the light and love of Creation and feeling it flow freely both from within and around yourself.
The only way to get a light/light connection is to access and radiate your own inner light. Any attempts to manipulate or pressurise others to give you what you want will be useless if what you really want is a reconnection with light. Interfering with another being’s free will can only serve to increase any existing feelings of separation from the inner light of your own soul’s truth and the outer light of Creation’s love. This will inevitably take you further and further away from the desired truth/truth connection. But if you believe that your own actions have already condemned you to a permanent state of separation you will not see the return to your own truth as an option. So it comes about that some of those who are already completely wrapped round with the syphilitic miasm’s dark reality may end up feeling tempted to do all they can to wrap that same darkness round others. They are particularly likely to choose those who remind them of their own lost state of innocence, beauty and light. They feel deeply jealous. That light is painful to them. So they may deliberately go about polluting that innocence, smearing it and injecting it with their own sense of corruption, shame and guilt in order to create a separation in the previously innocent individual that is similar to the separation within themselves.
The syphilitic miasm is expert at injecting its own darkness into others. Thus it becomes one of the main energy patterns underlying the abuse of the innocent, whether that abuse is mental, physical or emotional.
It is easy to inject an innocent child with darkness as it has no defence. A young child does not anticipate attack because whenever it is simply offering its own truth, warmth love and light with an open heart it naturally expects the same in return. A returning inflow of attack, judgement, fear or the intense pain of jealous hatred that leaks out from those who feel separated whenever they are confronted with light will be a massive shock to such a child. This type of shock can temporarily disintegrate the child’s aura. Then there is no resistance to anything the syphilitic individual wants to inject into the child. Very often the injection includes “It’s your fault.” So a child may end up suffering sexual abuse, violence, mental or emotional cruelty for no reason other that that it was simply being its beautiful true and open self in the presence of someone who felt eternally separated from his or her own truth. Such a child will often end up believing there is something wrong with what it really is. It may then decide to shut down its own truth. This may be because it becomes afraid to be itself in case of further attack or it may be because it takes in the guilt, shame and pain of its abuser and innocently believes itself to be responsible. It may then conclude that the fault is with itself, within its own nature, that what it naturally is must be intrinsically bad. Thus it is primed by the incoming syphilitic invasion to set out upon its own path towards immersion in the darkness of this miasm. If the child does eventually take this dark syphilitic path, then the individual who has primed it to do so will have to bear the additional burden of the guilt which inevitably arises from having caused harm to others.
People who are heavily involved with the syph are also often inclined to attack others’ beliefs about life. If you were to feel permanently condemned to live in torment and darkness it would be painful to see others living in happiness and light. So it might be more comfortable to believe that those who radiate light are living within an illusory reality. So you might want to find ways of dismissing and discrediting those who hold to their own inner light and to a belief in the loving reality of Creation. This is why some people who are deeply affected by this miasm may choose to brand all believers in the existence of a love based reality as deluded, ignorant, unscientific and general wearers of several layers of rose tinted spectacles and consider them to be living in a cloud cuckoo land woven from their own unrealistic fantasies! They may even call them insane. (Did you know that one of the criteria which defines the presence of schizophrenia is that the person genuinely believes they can communicate with spiritual beings!?) Unfortunately this dismissive approach can work against their own return to reconnection with light. Convincing themselves and others that the horrible dark and contorted reality they are living in is actually the only ‘real’ reality brings about a very short term gain as they are effectively doing all they can to trash and dismiss those who have the potential to support and inspire them to return to connection with their own inner truth.
If you encounter someone with this mission to dismiss and destroy your own vision of the always available presence of a loving reality then it will help you to stay steady in your own beliefs if you exercise compassion. Compassion helps to create a buffer zone around your truth. Don’t pity them, whatever you do. This will either arouse their scorn and ire or encourage them to play victim and recruit you as protector! Your compassion needs to contain a clear awareness of what has happened to them and why they are so determined to bring everyone else down. Sometimes it helps to be aware that they are likely to be attacking you with whatever was used to attack them as a child. Stay detached and centered. Be careful not to be drawn in! It’s better to walk away than to engage in their drama. It’s better
yet if you can manage to calmly and steadily offer the truth of what you really believe with complete conviction and a fully open heart.
Sometimes I sense that people who engage these ferocious attacks don’t really want to see the other person crumble. What they really want is to see the other person stay steady. They want to experience the truth flowing off that person. Remember, their fundamental desire is an open connection with truth. If you are willing to openly offer your truth and express it completely, they will be able to feel it directly and it will satisfy them. They have been met. This is what they want – to be met. They don’t want to be avoided and evaded, they don’t want you to retreat behind a wall of defences. They want you to come fully forward with what you are and what you feel and believe. Many people find that when they come fully forward in this way, the attack from someone with this miasm just naturally subsides. You have to come forward with your whole being though. It is no good coming forward with, say, logical argument or quoting other people’s words. You have to expose your own soul and express it with the pure love that it is. Each time you bring your own inner truth fully to the fore you are opening a doorway to the truth that lies behind it, the truth that is the source of your being, the reality of Creation. This is what people with the miasm really want to directly experience.
When I was young I could never believe in ‘god’ because I had no evidence, no direct experience. People in church and Sunday school talked about ‘god is Love’ but they also seemed to me to be full of judgements and instructions about the ‘good’ behaviour that was necessary to acquire that love. I knew myself well enough to realise that I was impossibly distant from the ideas of perfection that were being presented to me (particularly the Christian idea of willing sacrifice!). Also my own limited personal experiences of love felt radically different from the teachings I received. So I pretty soon decided that there was no such thing as god and that I was not going to give any lip or other service to the concept. When I was at school I often wouldn’t join in with the saying of the Lord’s prayer because to say it felt like lying. I also naturally refused to be confirmed on the grounds that I didn’t believe in god so how could I honestly take part in a ceremony that was supposed to confirm such a belief. At this time and in my particular school the refusal to be confirmed was unusual, unless of course you were Jewish. (In fact a refusal to obey any of the customary rules and regulations was unusual!) However, because I made this decision, a few other girls in my house decided the same. This got me the label of rebellious, which I didn’t mind because it was true enough, and rebel leader, which was not true because I never actually did anything to actively persuade anyone else to join in with my own refusing to be confirmed. It also generated enough concern among the staff to try to do something about it. So one day they made all the confirmation refusers go into the housemistresses study and brought in a monk to talk to us. He was from the Order of the Rising Sun and came to us in a monk’s habit. His face was unattractive and his manner was unimpressive and humble so, being an arrogant and judgemental teenager at the time, I kept myself pretty distant from whatever he was saying, assuming it was just going to be another meaningless sermon. Then he began to talk about god. I realise now that he was talking about his own personal vision of god, not about the traditional church version. He was completely transformed. He looked beautiful. Pure love and light streamed freely from him. I knew that he totally believed what he was saying. It was the first time I had ever encountered someone who spoke of god in this way. I lost all desire to argue or raise objections. I still didn’t believe that God existed but I did believe that this man’s love was genuine and that he believed what he was telling us. Before he left he said he would pray for me. Instead of feeling patronised and filled with the scorn and anger I normally experienced when someone made this kind of offer, I felt completely open to it and even grateful.
Guilt - true and false Guilt, Shame and Feelings of Inner Rightness
Here is a delightful and very salient commentary on guilt taken from Alexander McCall Smith’s entertaining novel ‘The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs’ (for your greater entertainment try imagining this being spoken by Hugh Lauwrie in a typical mock up of an Austrian psychoanalyst’s accent, which is how I first heard it)
Priest (in confessional) : “ Guilt is natural, it is a way in which the superego asserts itself in the face of the primitive anarchic urges of the id . It acts as a way of establishing psychic balances between the various parts of the personality. But we should not let it consume us. Guilt fuels neurosis. A small measure of guilt is healthy. It affirms the intuitive sense of what is right or wrong. But if you become too focussed on what you have done wrong then you can become an obsessive neurotic.” “ I am sorry” said von Igelfeld, “ I totally am sorry for what I have done. Please forgive me.” “Oh, you’re absolved.” said the priest, “That goes almost without saying . God is very forgiving these days - He’ s moved on. He forgives everything in fact. What you have to do now is repair the damage you have caused. You must go and see this Unterholtzer and say to him that you are sorry you have lied about him and ask for his forgiveness.”
The deepest feelings of guilt you are ever likely to encounter will probably have their origins in the influence of this miasm. Guilt is fundamental to the syphilitic miasm and to its propagation. The feelings of guilt and shame underpin the syphilitic miasm because it is the persistence and accumulation of these feelings that lead to the experience of the self as permanently separated from creation’s light. However, this accumulation does not need to happen if guilt is properly understood and used for the purpose it is there for.
In this context it is important to be clear about the proper function of guilt and to distinguish between true guilt and false guilt, as the guilt that suffuses the miasm is generally a mixture of both of these.
True guilt is felt whenever we take an action that goes against our own soul’s true nature. False guilt is created when we are actually operating from our own truth and someone else projects onto us that we are causing them harm. False guilt is also created when we ourselves we make a mistaken assumption that the suffering of others is a direct consequence of the expression of our truth.
Guilt and shame are both useful to us, like all other negative and painful feelings. Guilt is part of the group of emotions that warn us when we are going against our own inner truth. (Sadness is another one that is potentially very useful in this regard and so is fear) Shame is really an extension of guilt. You feel guilt whenever you knowingly take a wrong action, or even when you are thinking about taking it. You are more likely to feel shame when you have actually caused harm by that action.
True guilt and shame are basically preventatives. They help us to avoid acts of separation from our own truth and from Creation’s reality. They push you away from wrong action as surely as physical pain makes you withdraw your hand from a hot stove. They are valuable to us partly because they are useful indicators of acts of separation and partly because they are so unpleasant that they discourage us from further such acts! Complete disconnection from source is a terrifying experience. No-one wants to feel empty inside in a space of nothingness and darkness, which is what happens when we become completely separated. Guilt and shame are basically trying to protect you from reaching that position of extreme separation. They make it harder for you by tormenting you every time you either take or consider taking any act of separation. The other really good thing about them is that they don’t go away just because you want them to or do your best to forget about them! They nag and nag at you until you do something to make amends.
We should be as grateful to them as we would be to anyone who did something that held us back from certain injury or destruction, even if they did cause us some pain in the process!
We have on this earth the potential to generate a perfect material expression of Creation’s already perfect reality. We have an opportunity to bring about physical forms and actions that directly reflect the light forms that arise from pure love. We each have the option to give a material expression to some small aspect of the blueprint in the mind of god. Whenever someone takes any action that arises direct from their soul, they will be generating a piece of perfection, bringing a portion of creations reality into a form that is available for everyone else to enjoy. This is of benefit to both the giver and those around the giver. The benefit often also spreads much further afield as such actions always make it easier for others to take action from within their own souls. Thus the harmony expands.
Whenever someone takes an action that goes against their own soul, against their own feelings of inner rightness and against the clear dictates of their own heart, then this creates a dark and ugly form instead of the potential light and beauty that could be there in that same place. In small doses it’s like someone throwing a tin can or plastic bag out into a beautiful landscape. In large doses it’s like the expanses of discarded litter that cover the fields after the Glastonbury festival or the filth and waste that contaminates the streets in Southern India.
Part of the true nature of each being is to express its own unique beauty through listening inwards to its own truth and letting that truth flow outwards into perfect expression. Another part of each soul’s truth is to give love and support to the expression of truth in others. If we allow ourselves to listen inward and trust what feels right and good inside, we will end up expressing each of these aspects of ourselves appropriately and each in their own right time and place
Whenever you take an action that separates you from your own truth and, therefore from your own connection to source, you will feel true guilt. If the action would have been some creative expression of your own inner being, then the guilt will be towards yourself, towards the life you could have had if you had stayed true to your own nature. You will also feel guilty towards Creation because you have betrayed your own brief. You had something unique and beautiful to bring into the world, the essence of your own soul, which would have been your most loving and perfect contribution to the whole. Yet you chose to express something else, something untrue, and thereby created a patch of darkness where there could have been a glow of light. You suffer as a result of this choice and the world around you is that bit less beautiful than it could have been.
If you should take an action that not only goes against your own soul but also results in the shutdown of another being’s truth, you will also automatically feel true guilt. Your action has been the external pressure that has caused them to betray their own truth with all the consequences to them and to their life that this betrayal naturally entails. You yourself will thus have betrayed that part of your own true nature whose function and fulfilment is to support truth in others. This will take you even deeper into guilt and the darkness of separation from Creations true reality. In each such action you can feel doubly damned – damned by your own separation from your own truth and damned by whatever it is you have done that separated someone else from theirs.
Actions that affect others have the most power to create separation when those actions involve beings whom you have undertaken to nurture –such as young children or animals. If another adult should choose to take offence and withdraw his/her own truth because of something you said or did (like forgetting their birthday!), then you are likely to have far less responsibility and possibly none at all. Providing the other person is actually capable of choosing to access and express their own truth, even if you generated the trigger that has stimulated them to withdraw their truth, you are not actually responsible for their choice to do so, even if they try to convince you that you are (see section on Victim Games). However if the other person is not fully capable of choosing to express their own truth, you will have at least some responsibility for any negative effects of your own action. This applies to those who are very weak and vulnerable for some reason and to anyone you have undertaken to nurture.
Whenever you take on the nurturing of another being you are temporarily in the place of Creation. It is up to you to support the truth of their soul as best you can. If your choice of wrong action makes it more difficult for them to be true to themselves then you will inevitably experience true guilt.
Some individuals who are fully aware of their own inner darkness may respectfully choose to deny themselves all opportunities of nurturing, rather than risk the additional separation of passing on their own darkness to someone they have undertaken to nurture. Thus a woman who is aware that she has been penetrated by her own mother’s deeply negative beliefs and has not yet managed to eradicate them from her own thoughts and feelings may decide not to have children of her own rather than risk passing on what was done to her. I once had a client who was dying of a brain tumour. The underlying energy within the tumour was the presence of sexual feelings towards young girls. This man had a little girl of his own. He honourably chose to generate his own death rather than risk contaminating her with his sexual feelings. I have seen other similar cases where someone develops a life threatening illness as a way of preventing themselves from indulging their own hatred or jealousy of a particular child.
The sad thing is that such deaths are needless. They could have been prevented if these people had realised that they still had a choice to return to their own inner light and make amends (so their deaths count as another black mark for the purveyors of beliefs in eternal damnation).
True guilt it is always accompanied by a true desire to make amends. Whenever you have done something that goes against your own soul’s truth, you will innately and naturally want to make amends. Even if no-one else knows what you have done, you will still know. Shame and/or guilt will torment you until you seek out atonement. This is one of the ways that balance is maintained in the world. A person cannot go on and on indefinitely taking actions that go against their own soul. Sooner or later they will either have to make amends or organise their own destruction. When they have taken the right action to make amends, then the guilt and shame will go away and they will feel at peace. This may take more than one lifetime if they carried steadily on a particular negative path during the whole of one life and either did not listen to the warning of their guilt or give themselves time to make amends.
Once you have accepted the guilt and the responsibility for your own wrong action, the right action to make amends will arise within you as an inner knowing, the same as all other acts of rightness. The prospect of being able to make amends brings with it a prospect of relief of the guilt, the shame and the separation. I think this is what karma is. I see it as the unfulfilled desire to make amends, to put right what was done wrong in another life by doing it differently. I don’t see it as something we have to do because I see Creation as infinitely compassionate and allowing us complete freedom of choice. However, I do see it as something we choose to do, because we want to, because it feels better, because we want to rejoin the harmony and redress any imbalance we may have caused.
Not the end- not yet happy enough!
To follow :
Atonement for true guilt, understanding false guilt and how it happens Syph and sex , Syph and power issues. Overcoming Syph in yourself. Dealing with syph in others Undoing the effects of judgement
I am on the case but this is a bit of a mission! Happy to hear about any type or information errors and any good quotes you may come across or any good examples of syphylitic villiany or syphylitic reform! e mail me on firstname.lastname@example.org . I have also made some good remedies for the syph.if you think you need help with it.
Here is more - a chapter from my book
The Syphilitic Miasm
“It goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame , the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o’erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.” From Hamlet, by William Shakespeare
he syphilitic miasm is the worst and most powerful of all the miasms. It creates the darkest of all illusory realities. Its very essence is darkness because it is the miasm that arises out of separation from light – separation from the light within the self and separation from the light that Creation radiates around all of us.
The syphilitic miasm is an aggregate of all human experiences of separation from the inner light of soul’s truth and the consequent inevitable separation from the light of Creation’s love. This miasm absorbs and transmits all the feelings of pain, sadness, regret, shame, guilt, terror and aloneness that accompany the separated state.
This miasm is an expression of the energy underlying the disease of syphilis. Syphilis is a terrible disease. It starts with nothing much –a painless little ulcer following sexual intercourse with someone who already has the disease. A month or so later follows the secondary stage which is a severe flu like illness with a rash. If this does not kill you, which it can, the disease goes underground and steadily invades system after system of your body, rotting it from the inside until the damage is such that, in the tertiary stages of the disease, the damage becomes visible, either through its effects on the physical body or in the behaviour and the mental state.
Syphilis used to be a deeply dreaded disease, partly because it was potentially a death sentence and partly because of its acquired association with guilt and shame. This made it more dreaded in some ways than the plague or smallpox. Even though those who contracted these other illnesses were effectively outcast, since everyone tried to avoid them for fear of infection, most of its victims felt fundamentally innocent, seeing themselves as victims of fate or maybe of God’s general wrath with humanity if their beliefs inclined them to that approach. Syphilis however came to be strongly associated with guilt and shame due to religious and social attitudes towards sex.
The syphilitic spirochete is a very delicate organism and cannot survive outside a body fluid environment so you could only get syphilis by having sexual intercourse. (Nowadays also blood transfusion but never from a toilet seat!) So if you were to follow the moral codes of church and society, stay a virgin before marriage and only have sex within marriage, you would not contract syphilis (unless either your birth mother or the person you married already had it). Thus the contracting of the disease was usually seen as a sign of someone having had more than one sexual partner, which rendered them guilty in the eyes of the church and society. Guilt and the fear of judgement have become inextricably intertwined with this miasm.
The syphilitic miasm consists of the energy patterns that are associated with the disease of syphilis. These include feelings of guilt, intrinsic badness, worthlessness and a sense of inner darkness and pollution, usually the kind of pollution you feel you cannot ever hope to wash away. There is an inner awareness of their own separation which makes those who are deeply affected by the miasm feel absolutely and utterly alone.
People with this miasm have a dark inner world. They may initially succeed in controlling its manifestations and hiding them under the surface, as this miasm tends to operate very much underground, just like the disease itself. But sooner or later the darkness leaks to the surface, just as it does in the tertiary stages of the disease. It shows up in the darkest mental states, in eruptions of violence, hatred, lust, envy and the extreme highs and lows of the bipolar state, with its beliefs in its own power and importance crashing into powerlessness, worthlessness and despair. It is often the driving force behind the paranoia that fears all these things wherever it sees them, whether inside or outside the self. Thus it is there under the surface in the schizophrenia that fears and tries to avoid acknowledgement of the presence of the darkness in the self. It is there in all types of self-generated amnesia, whether this shows up as the post alcoholic haze, where someone allows the toxic intake of alcohol to wipe out all memory of what they did or as the ability to completely suppress the memories of their own negative actions. It shows in Alzheimer’s where people are often trying to forget all the things they have done that go against the truth of their soul and in illnesses like multiple sclerosis where there is a systematic destruction of patches of the nervous system that have been associated with the miasm’s energy. It shows up in most situations of abuse, whether that abuse is mental, physical or emotional. It shows up in most situations of severe and self-destructive addiction. It shows up in all sexual behaviour where the sexual drive overrides the sense of personal honour, rightness and the sense of love and respect for the truth of the self and other. It shows up everywhere where there is a desire for power, including the power to have domination over others, the power to penetrate their thoughts, feelings, bodies and behaviour with its own thoughts, feelings, body and beliefs and the desire to take their power from them and use it for its own gain. It is often there in both the jealousy that tries to destroy and the possessiveness that tries to own those who are radiating pure light.
It is always there in the type of black and despairing depression that craves its own destruction.
Someone who is totally engulfed by this miasm will feel intrinsically alone. It doesn’t matter what actual physical company they keep, the aloneness is always inside them. It feels like being alone in the cold and the darkness. When it is really dense around you it feels as if there is nothing but darkness: darkness and pain stretching endlessly before you with no prospect of relief. When it is less dense it can feel as if you are in your own separate cloud of darkness and although you can see other people radiating light, it feels as if they are distant, as if there is an impenetrable Perspex shield between you and them, as if they are in a lighted room and you can see them and watch them but never enter, never be part of that light. This is one of the reasons why people with this miasm frequently turn to drink or drugs (or rock and roll!) for company. The bottle or the drug or some piece of tormented, driving angry music becomes their friend, something they can connect with, something that is always available to give them at least some temporary relief, even if that relief is only either a short period of oblivion or an offer of some kind of connection that will offer a temporary numbing of the pain of the aloneness. This feeling of intrinsic aloneness is accompanied by the fear that there is no end to it and that they cannot hope for anything more than the temporary and superficial relief they have learned how to obtain from things like drugs or sex or their chosen patterns of establishing some sort of temporary connection with other beings.
It seems to me that the syphilitic miasm is probably pretty close to what people were describing in the old days when they spoke of eternal damnation and hell. They believed that you ended up in hell as a result of sin. This is quite close to the truth, except that hell is a state of mind, not an actual place.
The word ‘sin’ is derived from a word meaning separation. A sin was an action that separated you from god.
The fundamental predisposing cause that allows this miasm to overwhelm people is the presence of a strongly negative belief about the self that has been deeply internalised into the identity. It has gone so deep that the affected individual accepts that this darkness is actually part of themselves. They do not see that it has originally come from outside themselves and that they can therefore remove it. Thus they feel permanently contaminated by this darkness. Some affected individuals manage to virtually completely suppress its expression by being really strict and controlling of themselves, often with the help of extremely strict religious or moral doctrines. Others manage to hide it from expression a lot of the time but then feel really ashamed and disgusted with themselves when it leaks out, which it is always trying to do. Others just give way to it, let it rampage through them and over-ride all awareness of their own inner light. As examples you could look at the control of sexual expression. It can be completely inhibited and the individual can even self punish for having sexual thoughts as did some monks and adherents to strict religious doctrines. It can be controlled most of the time under a surface of ‘goodness’ and apparent morality but then leak out periodically through porn, child abuse, rape etc and then calm down for a while until the next need for discharge. Or it can be blatant and open as in the darker rock ‘gods’ who are openly sexual and have sex with as many willing followers as possible.
All those in whom this miasm is currently active will be periodically operating from some sort of false internalised identity. The usual suspects are the identity of worthlessness, the identity of wrongness, the identity of being harmful to others and the belief that, because of the presence of these polluting identities, the individual is fundamentally and permanently unlovable and excluded from love.
The polluting syphilitic identities get internalised by various means. The first is that they are absorbed direct from the mother. Thus the child is born already carrying an internal belief in its own intrinsic worthlessness , powerlessness or harmfulness to others.
Another common way that a false identity can be internalised is through projection. A young child does not yet have a conscious knowledge of itself. It is therefore vulnerable to being penetrated by a false image of itself that comes from outside. The younger the child is the more deeply it is likely to be affected by a projection. I once did a meditation during which I accessed some memories from just after birth. At one point I suddenly remembered a very strong projection from my mother that there was something wrong with me. As soon as that memory came to the surface of my awareness I instantly threw up. I am not even now sure what was wrong with me - I did have a birth mark on my head and I didn’t have a willie. It must have been one of those but not knowing what it was that was wrong with me led to me expending a lot of energy in trying to put right my wrongness, as I explained earlier.
The worst of the images that can be projected onto the child is that it is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ or harmful in some way to others. The energy behind the projection determines how deeply that particular projection affects the child. There is a big difference between saying to a child , “What you just did is bad/wrong “ and saying “You are basically all bad/wrong because of what you did” The first communication leaves open the possibility that other things about the child could be good and lovable. The second overwhelms the whole child in the belief in its own wrongness.
What often happens here is that the second type of accusation of wrongness is accompanied by a a strong energy of pushing away, a rejection, a complete outcasting of the whole child whereas the first type is simply trying to motivate the child to outcast a particular type of undesirable behaviour from itself. Being completely and wholly outcast is a massive threat which is why it is often used as a control system by those who want to have power over others, for example religious doctrines that threaten permanent exclusion from whatever heaven is seen as desirable by that doctrine.
The trouble is that when this outcasting is used really forcefully it can convince the child that it is fundamentally worthless, wrong or harmful to others. The child will then inevitably feel powerless to ever bring about its own right life.
As you can see, this miasm is strongly tied up with judgement, particularly the kind of judgement that completely separates from and pushes away the whole individual who is being judged. When one person projects onto another that what they are or what they have done or said is intrinsically ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ or even ‘evil’ and harmful to others this can be accompanied by a the feeling that the whole person has to be cast out for the preservation of all that is good. This is what we do when we sentence someone to life imprisonment or death. We decide to remove them wholly from society.
I mentioned Oscar Pistorious earlier. It seems that the killing of his girlfriend has caused the media to reject him completely. He did a massive amount of good in his life. He was a complete inspiration, showing how someone could overcome a disability and be powerful and full of grace. All this seems to be forgotten just because he was overcome by a few moments of rage. Fair enough to mete out the appropriate punishment for what he did. However that does not mean he should be cast out completely as being totally bad and beyond the pale. It was probably the same capacity for passion that drove both his running and the killing. If he had been a less passionate person he would not have killed but maybe he would not have been such a wonderful runner. You only have to look at high profile cases of sexual abuse/excess to see that many of these offenders had a very high energy level which they have used to do good things in their life but which also sought discharge through sex.
To go back to the child. An adult who already has syphilitic miasm may deliberately accompany this process of casting out of a child by invading the child’s identity with a negative image. This negative image will sit within the child and be accepted as a dark ‘truth’ about itself. This can easily make it feel that it is fundamentally unacceptable, irreversibly contaminated and therefore always cast out. Adults have made children feel like this for such things as masturbating, for not being always obedient, for not being able to do maths/spell, for not looking the way the parent wants them to look, for not being the sex the parent wanted in a child, for taking pleasure in their own bodies, their own ideas and/or their own achievements.
Once this projected judgemental belief has been internalised the child will carry it around inside itself and every time it is subsequently attacked or criticised the belief will deepen. Children who are made to believe themselves to be intrinsically bad or wrong will often act out that behaviour so generating more rejection and thereby constantly confirming the acquired negative identity.
Someone may project onto you that you have done something wrong and try to cast you out when in fact you have done nothing wrong at all, when you have been listening inwards to your own heart and inner rightness and taken the actions that were right for your own soul. In an adult situation you will be able to stay calm and clear in the face of the projection, knowing that it is coming out of the projector’s ignorance or their own internalised darkness. However when an adult does this projection of wrongness onto a young child who does not yet have sufficient self awareness to know its own truth the child may simply accept the incoming projection that what it is doing is genuinely ‘wrong’ or harmful to others. In my experience the people who end up having the greatest struggle with this miasm are those who incarnated with a really pure intent to express their own soul in the world. They are often capable of great love and amazing creativity and are frequently very generous spirited. Because their soul’s intent is to radiate pure light, they feel really bad when someone projects onto them that the being of themselves has harmed others. They will frequently judge themselves extremely harshly and frequently even court suffering and punishment in an attempt to atone for the harm they have supposedly caused.
A typical example of this would be that the child naturally radiates its own soul – beauty, light, pure love, joy in being. It is observed by an adult who is already sunk in syphilitic darkness or tubercular misery. The adult feels intense pain when it sees the child so full of the light and happiness it longs for but believes it can never have. The child naturally notices this pain. The child has been told that causing pain to others is wrong. It is not a big step for the child to conclude that its own delight in the being of itself must be wrong because it is clearly causing pain to others. Alternatively that adult may feel sexual arousal with accompanying fear guilt and shame. The child notices this and again concludes that its own truth must be at fault. In this way the free flow of inner truth can be inhibited by the clagged on belief that it is wrong because it hurts frightens or upsets others in some way. If only one aspect of its truth was flowing at the time the child may limit itself to believing that particular aspect is wrong but if its whole soul was flowing it could end up with a belief that it is ‘all wrong’. It may then conclude that the actual being of itself is a bad or harmful thing. In this case there is no separate added identity. The child has clagged the belief in its own badness directly onto some aspect of its own truth. Thus whenever the affected aspect of its truth begins to flow the child will experience itself as wrong worthless or ‘bad’ and actually deserving to be outcast for even wanting to flow these parts of its soul that appear to be so distressing to others. This happens a lot with our natural feelings of sensual pleasure. They get judged as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘dirty’ or ‘disgusting’ and the child starts to feel shame and guilt for having them. It also happens with many other things, like natural curiosity being clagged as being a ‘nosey parker’, natural delight in its own achievements being clagged as ‘showing off’, expressing its own opinion being clagged as ‘disrespectful, being full of energy and enthusiasm and a desire to engage fully with life being clagged as ‘exhausting others’, wanting to do its own thing being clagged as ‘selfish’ and so on and on and on! Most of you could doubtless add to this list from your own personal experience.
As well as operating from a belief someone else has injected into you, you can also self-generate a negative belief about yourself by acting in a way that is untrue of your soul. You may have good reasons for this like the desire to get love or be part of a particular group. Thus a child who wants to belong in a certain group may join in with bullying someone the group leader picks on. However its own inner referencing system will know that it is betraying its soul and it will then experience shame. If this happens often enough the child may come to believe in its own intrinsic badness.
All it takes to open you to being affected by this miasm is to have been separated from source, either by the actions of judgements of others or by your own chosen actions. This will make you vulnerable to the miasm Whether the miasm overwhelms you and/or continues to affect you will depend on the actions you subsequently take.
Unfortunately internalised negative beliefs about the self tend to become self –perpetuating. Once a negative projected identity has entered the child’s sense of self it just sits within it as a piece of darkness. Each time that negative identity expresses itself, the child will feel shame. In this way it continues to exclude itself. The more it allows that negative identity into expression, the worse it will feel about itself and the greater the separation it will experience.
I have already explained that we are all naturally connected to source, to the light and pure love of Creation’s reality and that this light and love flows constantly into us and is always there around us, whether we are aware of it or not. This means that we have free will to make the choice whether to tune in to the light that flows into us, relax into it and allow our actions to flow from it or to listen to either our own internalised darkness or to things coming from outside ourselves and let them push or pull us into the actions they want us to take
Each time you put aside the inner action that was derived from light and replace it by an action whose direction comes from outside yourself or from a piece of darkness that has been injected into you , you risk separating yourself from your own source and therefore from Creation’s most beautiful reality. Whenever you take any such action that also goes directly against the true nature of your own soul you inadvertently expose yourself to the influence of the syphilitic miasm. The more extreme the betrayal of your soul the more power you give to this miasm and the more likely you are to be overwhelmed by it.
You can, however, avoid this influence if allow your own natural feelings of regret guilt, shame and sadness to do what they are there for. Shame is telling you that you have betrayed your soul by expressing something that is not your own truth. The important point here is the not! If you feel ashamed or horrible after something you have done then the first thought you need to have is that this action did not come from your soul but from some pollution within your sense of self. Then what you most need to do is get back to your soul and then begin the process of ridding yourself of whatever acquired pattern of untruth within you actually instigated the shaming action. You are still responsible for the consequences of allowing an untruth to express itself. However you do not have to believe that this untruth defines your identity. Your soul is always beautiful and actions from the soul will always generate love. Anything that you do not like about your own behaviour is coming from an acquired belief about who you are or how you think you have to be to survive, belong or get connections. These beliefs are false and can therefore be discarded even if they have been forcibly penetrated into your sense of self by a syphilitic projection.
Let yourself trust your own shame to inform you about an expression of untruth. Shame makes you retreat the negative pattern and draw you back to listening inwards. It makes you want to redress any harm you have caused by this action to either yourself or another being. By changing back to listening inward and by making appropriate apologies and atonement for whatever it is you have done that brought on the regret, sadness, guilt or shame, you will be able to shift back into alignment with the pure light and love of Creation’s reality.
The moment you choose to fill yourself with the pure love and light of your own soul’s true nature, the miasm will be completely powerless to affect you. The temporary experience of separation that you just had will then act as a powerful incentive for you to avoid similar acts of harm and betrayal of your own truth. Thus you learn from your mistakes how to stay aligned and safe, happy within the light. You will then have a greater inner strength and determination when it comes to resisting any pressures from outside yourself that are seeking to force or persuade you to take an action that goes against your own feelings of inner rightness.
However, if you should happen to take an action for which you believe there is no forgiveness, no possibility of atonement, then you may not feel that it is possible to make redress. Instead you will retain and internalise your sadness, shame and guilt and accept the darkness of separation as your just or inevitable deserts. The syphilitic miasm can then claim you and draw you into its dark, unforgiving world.
Belief in eternal damnation/irreversible separation from Love and some of its consequences
The belief/thought form that there are actions that can never be forgiven or atoned for and the associated idea of eternal damnation of the soul have been regularly promulgated by many religions as well as by systems of social control and moral judgement. Without realising it, this thought form has considerably enhanced the power of the syphilitic miasm and maybe even been instrumental in creating it.
There is no such thing as eternal damnation within Creation’s reality. The belief that there are certain actions for which there can be no forgiveness or atonement is an illusion created entirely by man. Creation’s reality is pure love and pure love never casts anyone out, no matter what they have done. Pure love just waits for their return to truth and subsequent reconnection with its light, leaving the offer open until they are ready. It is our own guilt and shame and the rejection of our own actions that we project onto Creation. Thus we make Creation the supposed source of judgement, condemnation and eternal damnation when the source of these causes of separation is really ourselves.
Adherence to a belief that there are certain actions for which there can be no forgiveness or atonement will inevitably lead to an increase in the number of acts of separation: Once a person believes he or she is already damned by their own actions, they are more likely to continue with such actions. They may also be tempted to take actions that draw others into a similar state of separation.
It is understandable that it is going to be intensely painful for someone who has been separated from their own inner light to watch from their own cold surrounding darkness and see innocence ,beauty, truth and light pouring out of others. When they believe they can never attain that state again, it can seem like a knife in the heart or even a taunt. However, even if they do believe that there is no way they can return to the connection with Spirit’s light, they still have a choice as to how they are going to react to the presence of light in others. There are several options:
1) Avoidance of others Those who have a strong innate sense of respect may try to avoid all contact with the inner light of others in order to make sure that they do not contaminate anyone else with their darkness. If they do not want to connect with others in the separated state because they know within themselves that the separated state is not where they want to be, they may choose to keep themselves in a state of isolation. Their feelings of aloneness can then become so unbearable that they may be driven to seek relief from drugs like the opiates, which temporarily relieve the painful feelings of aloneness or they may choose to take alcohol to an anaesthetic level in order to numb the pain. In extreme cases they will choose death, either through the drugs they have chosen or some other means including fatal accident, illness or straightforward suicide.
I have seen people with this miasm who make terrible and painful sacrifices. Rather than risk the additional separation of passing on darkness to someone they have undertaken to nurture, some individuals may choose to deny themselves all opportunities of nurturing others. Thus a woman who is aware that she has been penetrated by her own mother’s deeply negative beliefs and has not yet managed to eradicate them from her own thoughts and feelings may decide not to have children of her own rather than risk passing on what was done to her.
I once had a client who was dying of a brain tumour. The underlying energy within the tumour was the presence of sexual feelings towards young girls. This man had a little girl of his own. He honourably chose to generate his own death rather than risk contaminating her with his sexual feelings. I have seen other similar cases where someone develops a life threatening illness as a way of preventing themselves from indulging their own hatred or jealousy of a particular child.
If someone with syphilitic miasm experiences themselves as irreversibly contaminated as a result of his or her own actions, the deliberate taking of his or her own life (whether by suicide, ‘accident’ or fatal illness) can often be more like an act of atonement that an act of cowardice or retreat. From the perspective of a deep immersion in the syphilitic miasm’s reality, death can become the only remaining available act of love. These individuals can experience themselves as giving the world a gift by removing themselves from it. They generally don’t believe they have anything else worth giving so they offer their death.(If you watched the Alien series of films, you may remember that Sigourney Weaver’s character throws herself into a massive vat of boiling metal when she realises that she is carrying a vicious and dangerous alien within her own body.)
The sad thing is that these deaths are needless. The truth is that there is no action that cannot be embraced in Creation’s compassion. No matter what anyone has done, they can always choose to return to light, the door is always open for them to reconnect with Creation’s reality. There is no eternal damnation or separation in that reality. The belief that such separation is possible is simply a part of this miasm’s illusory reality and this miasm has been created by the thoughts, actions and feelings of mankind over centuries of judgement. It has nothing to do with any god.
2) Seeking similar company Others who are afflicted by this miasm will try to alleviate the painful feelings of separation by seeking out company in dark places, searching for others to share the aloneness. When someone experiences themselves as alone and eternally separated from light, beauty and love, one of the few things that will give them some relief from their pain is to keep company with others who are equally separated. One possible way to obtain such company would be to simply seek out people, places, music, art and literature that are already in resonance with their own state of separation. This in itself is fair enough. Although it doesn’t offer any solutions to the separation, it does at least provide the comfort of companionship in that state
There is plenty of music, literature, film and stuff on the internet that could reassure them they are not alone in their separated state and there are places they can go where the darkness is blatant and people they can be with who are equally self-condemned.. The separation from light is still there within each individual but their grouping together may do something to reassure themselves that they are not really alone. Some may even try to justify their position by generating a belief amongst themselves that they are the only ones who know what life is really like (Generally a f****** bitch and then you die! Predictably enough, syph. miasm loves the f word!)
The trouble with hanging out with people who share and confirm the same dark vision of reality is that there will inevitably be a reduced contact with the truth that could provide solutions and healing. It will obviously be more comfortable for those who feel condemned to live in eternal darkness to believe that those who radiate light are living within an illusory reality than to believe that these others are living in a beautiful reality whose doors are eternally closed to themselves. Unfortunately this approach can work against their return to reconnection with light as it often means dismissing those who hold to their own inner light and to a belief in the loving reality of Creation as deluded and ignorant and general wearers of several layers of rose tinted spectacles.
Convincing yourself and others that the horrible dark and contorted reality you are living in is actually the only ‘real’ reality brings about a very short term gain as you are effectively doing all you can to trash and dismiss those whose way of being could inspire and support you to find ways to return to connection with truth.
3) Contaminating others to get connection One of the most serious consequences of the belief in eternal separation from source is the desire to spread that feeling of separation amongst others. Thus the worst of all syphilitic miasm’s acts of soul betrayal is to pass itself on to the innocent, to separate others from their own truth and from Spirit’s love.
Those who seek to connect with the innocent have two types of motivation. They may be seeking to reconnect with light or they may be seeking to destroy it. The more deeply convinced they have become that they can never reconnect with the light, the more likely they are to seek to destroy light in others. Thus some of those individuals who feel overwhelmed by darkness and heavily contaminated by this miasm may deliberately seek out those who are radiating pure light and go about contaminating their innocence and generating guilt and feelings of worthlessness, self-disgust and separation in them. This is like someone who knows they have syphilis (or A.I.D.S these days) deliberating drawing someone else into a sexual encounter knowing that other person then has a high chance of contracting the disease. It is understandable that such actions should be followed by deep feelings of shame and guilt and that this betrayal of the soul should deepen their feelings of irreversible separation from love. Unfortunately they often also pass this guilt and shame onto those they have contaminated.
4)Cover up One of the commonest syphilitic patterns is to present a very strong facade that is intended to neutralise the pollution within the identity. Thus someone who has been made to feel intrinsically wrong may go to a lot of effort to be right. They will usually be forceful about it (just as someone forced them to feel wrong) because they hate to be made to feel wrong as that tips them back into the miasm’s world. They may go to a lot of trouble to acquire knowledge , information and skills so that they can present themselves as right in most situations. Similarly someone who has been made to feel worthless will find ways to acquire worth. They will seek out what others give worth to and try to emulate that. This may be money or status or beauty or it may be good works, caring for others, sacrifice. The thing here is the intent. Doing a good thing because your heart desires to do it is fine but doing it because you want to create a facade to protect yourself from the judgement of worthlessness just makes you vulnerable. Someone who has been made to feel powerless by being overwhelmed in childhood by an adult with more power will try to augment their own power in whatever way they feel will help them to balance out their own internalised feelings of powerlessness. Strategies here can range from mastering a martial art to world domination. Hitler was clearly massively affected by this miasm. It is interesting that he chose the Aryan tall blue eyed, blonde appearance as ultimately desirable when he was small and dark. He must have believed in his own inner worthlessness.
‘When she was good she was very, very good and when she was bad she was horrid’
From a traditional nursery rhyme
One particular characteristic of this miasm that makes it very different from the T.B. miasm is that it is very Jekyll and Hyde in its behaviour. People with T.B. miasm are usually open about their unhappiness and may get together in groups to moan about life, the universe and everything they see as standing in the way of their fulfilment. They don’t usually see themselves as bad, maybe rather unfortunate. So they have nothing particular to hide – not even their resentment! Syph on the other hand does generally see itself as bad and tends to keep its darkness hidden –or only exposed in the presence of others with the same miasm. The surface appearance may reveal nothing of the black energies underneath -in fact there may be a surface facade of super goodness and the person may be a well known doer of good deeds. Then something may trigger the syph (frequently lust in one form or another, usually for sex or power over others) and people may allow it to dominate them for a while, preferably in some secret situation and often during darkness. Once it has had a sufficient discharge, they then go back to the good, controlled acceptable self-image that they have chosen to present to the world.
Classic syph miasm behaviour is the discharge. It is like a snake or lizard’s tongue. It shoots out, does its thing and then shoots back looking as if nothing ever happened. If you find yourself suddenly lashing out or feeling impelled to sexual discharge or your addiction of choice and then once it is done all goes back to ‘normal’ it is likely to be the syph. It seems to need periodic discharge. People can control it for a while then it builds up and has to force its way out. There are lots of characters in film and literature (and real life!) that express this characteristic besides Jekyll and Hyde including Dorian Gray and Iago. My favourite is the priest in Disney’s cartoon version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The scenes where he is in the cathedral struggling with his own lust for the gypsy Esmeralda are the best exposition I have ever seen of a syph. miasm conflict.
Someone whose identity has been penetrated by this miasm cannot access the natural power of the soul because the soul has been pushed back and rejected . So it goes after other forms of power. The power to dominate and control others is a common goal. Sexual power is another The Star wars films contain a brilliant portrayal of the power of the Dark Side of the Force, which is basically pretty much identical with the syph. It also demonstrates how it can be defeated by love and the truth of the soul. The Emperor is a classic syphilitic miasm figure, wanting absolute power and revelling in destruction of those who resist him. Luke struggles constantly with his anger and the Emperor deliberately drives him to give way to his hatred, knowing that this will draw him into the dark side. Nevertheless, although Luke does give way to destructive anger, in the end he turns to love, calling to the retreated soul of his father. This love, though weak and desperate, was enough to draw Darth Vader’s love forward and this results in the Emperor’s destruction and Darth Vader’s redemption. Other clear expositions of syph miasm and its desire for power and domination are the Harry Potter books and also the Lord of the Rings. In all of these there is a central syphylitic figure who is totally consumed by the desire for absolute power. In each situation this figure is ultimately defeated by those who choose love and adherence to inner rightness. These are good messages!
Although there are a few individuals who have given themselves so completely up to the miasm that they will simply revel openly in the power of their own darkness, making no effort to hide it, there are probably many more individuals with this miasm who will hide their own soul-separated behaviour. These individuals are struggling. They have not given way to the miasm completely. Something within them is seeking to express their inner light even though they are often periodically overwhelmed by their internalised inner darkness. Someone who is completely open with their darkness like Alan Rickman’s sheriff of Nottingham or some of the many and various rock ‘gods’ of recent times can seem a lot more honest and therefore more attractive than those who conceal their darkness under a facade of righteousness and do-gooding. However the fact that they want to conceal it means that they still have shame which can hopefully be used to assist change. Unfortunately, although the experience of shame can make people want to change and go back to light it can also be so intolerable that some people shut it out altogether. Many people who are strongly affected by this miasm tend (understandably!) to prefer not to look at the aspects of their own behaviour that arise out of it. Some people will prefer to kill those they have sexually abused rather than live with a visible reminder of what they have done. Many people who periodically let this miasm have its way with them may feel such intense guilt and shame about their own behaviour that they lock it away behind the closed doors of their own memory banks. This is why this miasm is so frequently associated with episodes of amnesia or some other form of disassociation, such as a ‘split personality’. One form of expression of this type of self-induced amnesia can be the projection onto others of the darkness they are refusing to acknowledge in themselves. It is these people who are most dangerous to children because they are the ones who are most likely to project an extreme negative image onto a child. Thus someone who has been made to feel bad about masturbating may beat their own child for so doing, so inflicting their own acquired belief onto someone else. I have seen someone who developed schizophrenia as a result of this kind of treatment.
When someone chooses to block out all conscious awareness of their own darkness in an effort to protect themselves from shame, to protect themselves from judgement and from the view of the world this complete denial of shame and darkness makes healing of the miasmic influence somewhat tricky. One of the primary keys to dispelling the influence of this miasm is to acknowledge its presence! It has to be faced. The syphilitic spirochete doesn’t like exposure to light neither does the miasm.
The trouble is the miasm has many ways of hiding besides amnesia. When it hides behind a facade of extreme ‘goodness’ or ‘righteousness’, it may end up justifying its actions by some system of religious or moral belief, like ‘it’s alright to kill torture or abuse other human beings because they are bad/ they believe in the wrong God/ they disagree with my most excellent and upstanding moral principles/ they are fundamentally inferior.” Sometimes it hides under some kind of twisted self- justification - maybe “It is good for these boys to be beaten because this is the only way they will learn. The fact that I get a sensual kick out of it is my just reward for doing this good thing.” It often hides under blame.
Blame is a Particularly Cunning Plan that is frequently used by those who are afflicted by this miasm and don’t want to believe themselves to be condemned to darkness by their own soul-separated actions. They simply blame others for their miasm-directed behaviour! - “It’s your fault I behave like this” is a common excuse, particularly amongst violent alcoholics engaging in partner abuse.
Some people take the path of sinking into serious victim type personae as a way of justifying their soul betraying actions. You can’t really blame them. It is a horrible feeling to betray your own soul, to be riddled with shame and with guilt and to believe there is now nothing you can do to make amends and put things right. It can seem so easy to shift into blame and abnegate all responsibility. However blame often only provides a short term solution because the inner being will nag you with the truth! Also it only works really well if the person you are blaming will actually accept the guilt. Parents unfortunately are quite good people to blame as they are inclined to accept responsibility for their children’s behaviour. Society colludes with this. However if you believe, as I do, that we have free will and that we choose our incarnation for our own reasons, then it follows that we knew what we were going to encounter when we chose particular parents. It also therefore follows that we would probably have trusted that we had a good chance of handling the situation by staying true to our souls.
So rather than indulging in blame we may as well get on with what we came for and enjoy, brave or accept the challenge of dealing well with the difficulties our parents presented us with and thereby growing in the mastery of expressing our own soul’s truth within the world.
Separation and connection
Since the primary cause of this miasm is separation from the soul, those who are afflicted by it are likely to feel painfully alone. Some people just live with this and accept that they will always be alone. They usually believe no-one will want to be with them anyway. Others try to find people who feel the same as they do, preferably with the same type of inner darkness. They may not ever actually talk about it but they will feel comfortable in the presence of someone whom they sense has the same feelings of wrongness or sexual guilt etc. Close relationships often act as mirrors giving each the option to see their own darkness in the other. Unfortunately this increases the likelihood of the miasm being passed on to any children they may have.
There are other ways to get connections. I mentioned the tendency to pollute others in order to make them feel the same. This is common with sexual abuse. The abuser passes his or her shame and guilt into the abused and then they have a common connection.
Another way to get connection is to fight. Fighting generates pretty intense connections! There is something to be said for people fighting by attacking each others’ untruth as it can have the effect of exposing the untruth - always a good plan with the syph. It’s not so good if people fight by attacking what is good in each other out of jealousy or resentment!
Inevitably, since this miasm arises from a sexually transmitted disease, one very common means of connection is sex. For some this can be a huge relief from the aloneness. However if someone has acquired darkness, shame and guilt around their own sexual feelings the experience can be brutal and damaging to both parties. It can also be healing. I talked with someone who was sexually abused by her brother and she clearly felt immense compassion for him. A good prostitute or sex therapist can help to transform people’s acquired negative feelings about sexuality into an awareness that this can indeed be an act of love.
Dealing with the syphilitic miasm
This miasm is so deep and so sneaky and hides so effectively in dark corners of the psyche that if you have inherited it and then subsequently allowed it to help you betray your soul, then you are unlikely to drag every trace of it out of you in one go! However once it knows it has been seen and especially once it knows that you are not going to judge it, it will gradually present itself for healing.
Everything wants to connect with love, nothing wants to be separated. Make it a good offer and it is unlikely to refuse! The important thing here is to know that everything has an inner connection with light and love, that all darkness has been acquired from outside the self and that what came in from outside does not belong to the soul and can therefore be pushed out, like any other foreign body that manages to invade our flesh.
Just as the darkness was pushed into you by the power of someone else’s darkness it can be pushed out of you by the power of your own soul’s light. The key here is to know that your soul is light – to know that anything you do not like about your ‘self’ is actually not true of your soul and that the soul’s truth can be encouraged and empowered sufficiently to expel those things you do not like completely from your sense of self.
To free yourself from the influence of this miasm you need to also free yourself of all belief in eternal damnation and know that every being can always come back into oneness with Creation’s reality by simply choosing to hold fast to the expression of their own inner light. There will be no rejection from Spirit, regardless of the amount of rejection from mankind. Maybe you remember this lovely quote from Jesus in the Bible ‘There shall be more joy in heaven over one sinner (separated person) that repenteth than over ninety and nine just persons that need no repentence.’ I used to think that was a bit unfair and that the just persons (including me as a child trying so hard and so painfully to be ‘good’) should be welcomed with equal joy but I now see that someone who is truly aligned with their own soul is so happy and fulfilled they do not need any joyful welcome!
Since the main key to resisting the influence of this miasm is to consciously choose your own light you need to be always self-referencing your own feelings of love and inner rightness. You need to be willing to admit to yourself when you have gone against your own heart but not judge yourself for doing so. We all fundamentally desire to be true to our own souls because this is what feels best so you would not have behaved in a way that separated you from the intensely pleasurable and satisfying feelings of being true to your soul if you had not had strong reasons to do so. We do not choose the darkness and hatred and pain of this miasm for fun! We choose them because someone else once made us feel these feelings and we have not yet managed to free ourselves from their influence.
First think of some behaviour of your own that causes you shame i.e. you feel shame when you recall what you were doing or feeling, regardless of whether you hurt anyone else or not. (If you did genuinely hurt someone else through your behaviour then you can add guilt for good measure!)All you have had to do is act entirely without love in a way that was directly opposed to your own truth and natural feelings of inner rightness.
Pick something you have never felt able to openly talk about. It doesn’t have to involve sex as there are many other ways to separate from the soul but dark sexual secrets have a special affinity with this miasm so they would be good ones to choose if you have any.
Allow yourself to feel the shame.
Then imagine a perfect person to whom you could confess your shame. Imagine the qualities of this person, their centeredness, their inner calm, their kindness, understanding, humour – whatever you feel you need. Once you have created the person in your mind’s eye then confess everything.
If you have done a good job creating the person, the confession will bring you relief. If it doesn’t then add other qualities to your person and confess again until the relief is there.
Do your best to explain to that person how you felt at the time and what drove you to take the actions or attitudes you took. Then tell the person what you would like to have done differently had you chosen at the time to operate direct from your soul. (Always remember it could be that there may have actually been nothing wrong with what you originally did and the shame may have been projected onto you . In this case all you would have needed to have done differently was know that your original intentions were pure and then reject the incoming projections – preferably with some compassion)
You can then sit with your chosen person and apologise backwards into the past. This apology means admitting what you did (including accepting a negative projection instead of honouring your own truth).
For this it is best to light a candle or you can imagine a stream of clear water running between you and the past scene of your shame.
Imagine yourself standing straight and clear and admit to everyone/thing in that scene that you behaved wrongly, that what you did or felt went against the truth of your soul. Apologise from your heart. Say what you would like to have done differently. Observe and accept the response.
You can also speak in a similar way to any other scenes that come to mind.
Then sit with the chosen person and consider with them what you might be able to do to complete your atonement, if this feels appropriate. Apology is often an excellent and sufficient atonement. However you may feel you need more e.g. someone I know who was cruel to animals as a child gave quite a lot of money to animal charities.
Self-punishment is not a suitable atonement, despite some people’s predilection for beatings and hair shirts! This is not about punishment or judgement. It is about acknowledging the pressures that took you away from your truth and making a resolve to maintain truth in future as best you can regardless of the presence of those same pressures.
Once you have completed your psychic apologies and atonements then, in your daily life, go on to do what you can to avoid similar actions and replace them with your own inner light.
If an opportunity arises, apologise openly to those you may have injured, but don’t force it. Otherwise be willing to confess to someone else, being careful to choose someone similar to your imagined confessor and being willing to wait for the right moment.
The next (and very important step) is that whenever you notice someone else behaving in a way that is similar to the one that brought you shame, do all that you can to see them and treat them as your confessor saw and treated you. Your perfect confessor is after all only a projection of your own soul.
One of the most important things to remember when dealing with this miasm within yourself or others is to avoid wholesale judgement. This kind of judgement separates and so feeds the miasm. It is fine to discern, to be aware of untruth in yourself and others as long as you do not discard either them or yourself wholly because of some dark action. Judgement is meant to create a separation of truth from untruth. It sets the untruth apart. It metes out appropriate punishment for that untruth. This is meant to discourage further expression of that untruth and can be very effective in this regard. However it does not condemn the whole person because of one or some actions arising from untruth. If you see someone behaving in an unbridled syphilitic outpouring then just see it for what it is – some internalised pollution that is discharging itself and probably causing intense pain and shame to the person who is experiencing this discharge. You would not condemn someone if they had an abscess that was discharging pus or if they had uncontrolled diarrhoea or vomiting even though you might feel like keeping your distance. So detach yourself and try not to engage with it in any way as that only gives it energy. If possible try to remember something good/true about that person, something you can easily love. Imagine how awful it must be for them to be so separated from their own inner light and from Love and do your best to stay true to yourself in their presence.