Dr Helen Ford - Syphylitic Miasm

This is about a quarter of the whole. I thought it best to start rather than wait for it to be finished as it is so complicated it may take me ages!

The Syphylitic miasm and the Desire for Connection
 For Kevin and all my other lovely friends who disconnect themselves from the true knowing of their own inner beauty.

Overview

The people who are most vulnerable to this miasm are those with an intense desire to connect. They want to experience other beings directly.  They want a barrierless connection, one that is absolute in its intimacy. If they were to connect with a rose they would want to experience the very essence of rose. They would not be as naturally interested in nomenclature and surface details of colour and shape. If they were to paint they would engage with the paint itself or with the stone if they were sculpting as well as with the physical objects that have inspired them. They would seek to become at one with their instrument as well as with the music they are playing. They would offer themselves wholly into whatever absorbs them. They are willing to give of themselves completely, so that they can be received and known by others and they are willing to open themselves as completely to receive what is given in return.
The connection that is most of all desired by these individuals is the meeting of soul’s truth, the meeting inner being to inner being, inner light to inner light, pure love to pure love.
The desire to connect in this way can be seen as a desire to know God/Spirit in all aspects of its expression.
The easiest way to generate a barrierless connection with the soul’s truth of another being is to offer your own soul’s truth fully and clearly, right to the edge of your personal space. Whenever one being is willing to be fully present, and so make the whole of what they are available for connection, then others can experience that singular part of creation’s whole just by opening themselves to it. If those others become (or already are) fully present with their own truth, then an exchange can take place. Truth flows freely between them. Each one expands his or her knowing of Creation. Each is fulfilled in the desire to connect with the essence of all things.
Any individual with a fundamental desire to generate barrierless connections who commits to the giving out and receiving of soul’s truth will constantly expand their intimate knowing of the many and various ways in which Spirit’s love is expressed.
It is easy enough to make the commitment to be wholly and openly true to yourself if you know that the giving out of your whole truth will be met by the returning gift of  the whole truth of others. Thus when someone incarnates with this intense desire to connect and is met with pure love and truth, it will be easy for them to relax into their own natural flow and continue to express their own soul’s truth in the world. They will become immensely and powerfully creative. Matter responds wonderfully to pure love and truth so they will have no difficulty in bringing their own creative visions into material form. However, if their gift of truth, open-ness and directness is consistently met with something other than love, for example with fear, hostility, jealousy or avoidance, they may conclude that what they are and what they have to give is not wanted. This constitutes a massive blow to someone whose intention in incarnating was to give wholly of themselves and engage in truth/truth connections with others.
When a child receives this kind of blow to their identity or to their heart they may then go into complete retreat and depression and could well organise their own death. However, if they have a strong inner commitment to do what they came for, they may choose to continue on in their life, even though they no longer believe that anyone wants to connect with the truth of their souls. The belief that no-one wants to connect with their truth leaves them feeling alone in the world. Some may simply accept this state of aloneness as inevitable. They may even extrapolate outwards from their own situation and imagine that intrinsic aloneness is the natural condition of humanity (and that anyone who thinks otherwise is simply deluding themselves because they can’t bear the idea of feeling so alone!). However, if they cannot bear the aloneness, especially if it is part of their own soul’s nature to seek connection, they will find alternative ways to connect. Any connection, even if only temporary, can come to seem like the only relief from the aloneness and the despair.  If they cannot rely on their own truth to make the connections they desire then they will find other ways to connect. So the search for connection can become like an addiction, driving their actions. They may cease to care what kind of connection they make as long as it feels real, present and intense. Thus they may begin to seek out the intense connections that can be generated by sexual desire, by violence, by creating shock, by nurturing extreme need, by engaging in the victim/ abuser dynamic. In the search for an intimate connection, they may end up doing things that betray their own soul’s truth, like rape, lying, violence, abuse of power, becoming a victim, corrupting others and so on. Some may seek to make disrespectful, penetrative connections through jealous hatred and attack and some may deliberately manipulate others out of their truth and right path. Because they believe that what they are is not wanted they may try to make others feel equally unwanted, especially those others whose soul’s truth is similar to their own.
The worst thing that can happen to someone with a fundamental desire to seek intimate knowing of the truth of all things is to become completely separated from their own soul’s truth. This effectively bars them from any further truth/truth connections.  The more harm one person does to another the further they separate from their own soul’s truth. The further they separate from their own truth, the harder it becomes to make any truth/truth connection. So the drive to generate connections in other ways will be intensified. Every connection that is generated by a betrayal of the soul and every connection that causes harm to another being will dig them deeper in the pit of separation. With each act of soul’s betrayal, they separate themselves further from truth until the only available connections become those with people who feel as contaminated as themselves – and also as intrinsically alone. If they eventually come to feel irretrievably separated from their own truth and from all possibility of truth/truth connections, these people will often then seek to destroy themselves in one way or another.
The feeling of aloneness that comes with a complete separation from your own truth is the most extreme form of aloneness. It is the terrible aloneness of feeling totally separated from the pure love of Creation.
The syphilitic miasm is an aggregate of all human experiences of separation from the inner light of soul’s truth and the consequent inevitable separation from the light of Creation’s love. This miasm absorbs and transmits all the feelings of pain, sadness, regret, guilt, shame, terror and aloneness that accompany the separated state. It creates the darkest of all illusory realities. It’s very essence is darkness because it is the miasm  that arises out of separation from  light.
You don’t have to have actually had syphilis to be affected by the miasm. You simply have to have taken some action that causes you to feel a deep sense of guilt, shame and isolation, an action that separates you from the truth of your own soul. Whenever anyone takes any action that separates him or herself from inner truth, this action opens a doorway for the syphilitic miasm to seep into them and fill them with its painful darkness. Whether the miasm overwhelms you and/or continues to affect you will depend on the actions you subsequently take. It depends on whether or not you do something that enables you to feel you have made amends for your guilt. Most importantly it depends on whether or not you learn from your experience of separation and choose to reconnect with your own inner truth and not to take similar actions again.
Before going into more detail about the miasm itself and about some of the ways in which separation occurs, I want to state solidly and clearly that no matter what actions a person has taken which have separated them from their own truth, they can always come back to it. The choice remains there. Spirit waits with the willingness to welcome anyone who returns. Ideas about judgement, unforgivable sin and eternal damnation of the soul are ideas created by man (probably by those who have been affected by this miasm!). The soul comes into this world through a body with the intent to express its own nature. It may not succeed. Nevertheless, the soul itself is an expression of spirit and so remains pure. A perfect idea does not become any less perfect just because someone fails in its perfect execution!
Anyone can choose to return to their own soul’s truth at any time. Then they can re-establish their connection with Creation and thereafter begin to create truth/truth connections with others.  I will suggest ways that this can be done once I have explained the ways that separation occurs. Once you understand what may have made you separate from your own truth, then it may be easier for you to stop judging and punishing yourself and just get on with making sure you gather all possible learning from your experiences of separation so that you are less likely to separate again.
Syphylis
The syphilitic miasm is an expression of the energy underlying the disease of syphilis, which is the result of infection by a spirochaete. This disease is venereally transmitted.
 Syphilis is a terrible disease.  It starts with nothing much –a painless little ulcer following sexual intercourse with someone who already has the disease. A month or so later follows the secondary stage which is a severe flu like illness with a rash. If this does not kill you, which it can, the disease goes underground and steadily invades system after system of your body, rotting it from the inside until the damage is such that it becomes visible on the surface either on the body as weeping ulcerations, rotting teeth and collapsing bones or in the behaviour and the mental state.
Syphilis used to be a deeply dreaded disease, partly because it was potentially a death sentence and partly because of its acquired association with guilt and shame. This made it more dreaded in some ways than the plague or smallpox. Those who contracted any of these illnesses were physically isolated, since everyone tried to avoid them for fear of infection. Those who contracted syphilis were socially and morally isolated as well, even though some of those people who contracted it were fundamentally innocent, such as the children of a syphilitic mother or the faithful wife of a philandering husband. Since syphilis is generally transmitted by sexual intercourse, if you were to follow the moral codes of church and society and only have sex within marriage you could not contract syphilis (unless the person you married already had it), thus the contracting of the disease was usually seen as a sign of someone having had more than one sexual partner, which rendered them guilty in the eyes of the church and society and therefore vulnerable to judgement. Guilt, shame and the fear of judgement are inextricably intertwined with this miasm.
The syphilitic miasm embraces all the energy patterns that are associated with the disease of syphilis. These include feelings of guilt, intrinsic badness, worthlessness and a sense of inner darkness and pollution, usually the kind of pollution you feel you cannot ever hope to wash away. People who are affected by this miasm have a dark inner world. They may initially succeed in controlling its manifestations and hiding them under the surface, as this miasm tends to initially operate very much underground, just like the disease itself. However, sooner or later the darkness leaks to the surface, just as it does in the tertiary stages of the disease. It shows up in the darkest mental states, in eruptions of violence, hatred, lust and envy. It is often the driving force behind the paranoia that fears all these things wherever it sees them, whether inside or outside the self. It is there under the surface in the schizophrenia that fears and tries to avoid acknowledgement of the presence of the darkness in the self. It is there in all types of self-generated amnesia, whether this shows up as the post alcoholic haze, where someone allows the toxic intake of alcohol to wipe out all memory of what they did or as  the ability to completely suppress the memories  of their own negative actions. It shows in Alzheimer’s where people are trying to forget all the things they have done that go against the truth of their soul and in illnesses like multiple sclerosis where there is a systematic destruction of patches of the nervous system that have been associated with the miasm’s energy. It shows up in most situations of abuse, whether that abuse is mental, physical or emotional. It shows up in most situations of severe and self-destructive addiction. It shows up in all sexual behaviour where the sexual drive overrides the sense of personal honour, rightness and the sense of love and respect for the truth of the self and other.  It shows up everywhere where there is a desire for power over others, including the power to penetrate their thoughts, feelings, bodies and behaviour with its own thoughts, feelings and beliefs, the power to dominate (the world or the playground!) and the desire to take  power from others and use it for its own gain.  It is there in the movies, in the black clad villain with his dark energy and his terrible teeth (or their gold replacements!)  and his ruthless drives.  It is often there in both the jealousy that tries to destroy and the possessiveness that tries to own those who are radiating pure light.
 It is always there in the type of black and despairing depression that self generates its own punishment and craves its own destruction.

Someone who is totally engulfed by this miasm will always feel intrinsically alone. It doesn’t matter what actual physical company they keep, the aloneness is always inside them. It feels like being alone in the cold and the darkness. When it is really dense around you it feels as if there is nothing but darkness: darkness and pain stretching endlessly before you with no prospect of relief. When it is less dense it can feel as if you are in your own separate cloud of darkness and although you can see other people radiating light, it feels as if they are distant, as if there is an impenetrable perspex shield between you and them, as if they are in a lighted room and you can see them and watch them but never enter, never be part of that light. This is one of the reasons why people with this miasm frequently turn to drink or drugs (or rock and roll/heavy metal!) for company. The bottle or the drug or the tormented, driving angry music becomes their friend, something they can connect with, something that is always available to give them at least some temporary relief from the aloneness, even if that relief is only either a short period of oblivion or an offer of some kind of connection that will offer a temporary numbing of the pain.
It seems to me that the syphilitic miasm is probably pretty close to what people were describing in the old days when they spoke of eternal damnation and hell. They believed that you ended up in hell as a result of sin. This is quite close to the truth, except that hell is a state of mind, not an actual place. And it is a result of sin/separation from the inner truth of the soul.
The word ‘sin’ is derived from a word meaning separation. A sin was an action that separated you from god. Separation from your own truth brings an inevitable separation from the source of that truth, which is what many people call god.
We are all naturally connected to source, to the light and pure love of Creation’s reality. The direct knowing of the actions that are right for us at each moment stream into us from spirit. We all have the free will to choose whether we will tune in to the light/knowing  that flows into us and allow our actions to flow from it or to listen to things coming from outside ourselves and let them decide our actions. Each time you put aside the inner action that was derived from light and replace it by an action whose direction comes from outside yourself, you risk  separating yourself from your own source and therefore from Creation’s most beautiful reality. You also make yourself potentially vulnerable to the syphilitic miasm.  
Of course we are all going to make mistakes! This is part of how we learn. Fortunately, the moment you separate from your own truth you will start to experience negative feelings like sadness, regret, guilt and  shame. Ideally you will allow these feelings to do what they are there for: to draw you back to listening inwards and to drive you to redress any harm you have caused by this action to either yourself or another being. By changing back to listening inward and by making an appropriate apologies and atonement for whatever it is you have done that brought on the regret, sadness, guilt or shame, you will be able to rapidly shift back into alignment with the pure light and love of Creation’s reality. This light and love will still be there and you still have free will to choose to connect with it, no matter how deeply you may have immersed yourself in darkness. The moment you choose to fill yourself with the pure love and light of your own soul’s true nature, the miasm will be completely powerless to affect you, even if you have previously taken many actions that went against your soul’s truth. The temporary experiences of separation that you just had will then act as a powerful incentive for you to avoid similar acts of harm and betrayal of your own truth. Thus you learn from your mistakes how to stay aligned and safe, happy within the light. The memories of pain serve to increase your  determination to resist any pressures from outside yourself that are seeking to force or persuade you to take an action that goes against your own feelings of inner rightness. 

Primary causes of separation

“In my childhood trees were green
And there was plenty to be seen
My mother wore a yellow dress
Gently,gently gentleness
When I was five the black dreams  came
Nothing after that was quite the same
The dark was talking to the dead
The lamp was dark beside my bed
When I woke they did not care
Nobody, nobody was there
When my silent terror cried
Nobody, nobody replied
I got up: the chilly sun
Saw me walk away alone.”  
Abridged extract from Louis MacNiece Autobiography
The vulnerability to this miasm always starts with a feeling of separation. There are several ways the initial experience of separation can occur:
The mother may never properly connect with the child and remain separate from it within the womb and afterwards. This can cause the child to develop the belief about life that there is no connection available for its truth
The mother may connect with the child when it is first born but withdraw her connection later, perhaps when the child starts to demonstrate aspects of its own truth that she feels unable to engage with for one reason or another.
The child receives a shock. It is happily and innocently radiating its own truth and receives some kind of seriously negative response which leads it to believe that what it is is unwanted or even bad. 

Maternal connection/ bonding
As I see it the word ‘bonding’ is describing the flow of pure love from the soul of the mother towards the being of her child and the child’s flow of its own pure love in return. The mother or other being who truly loves the child is simply the temporary conduit of the pure love of Creation.  This is immensely satisfying to both mother and child and affirms the fundamental connection we all have with the pure love of Spirit.
 Once a child experiences this connection and comes to trust in the availability of a flow of pure love from the mother, it is well set upon the path of knowing that love is there for what it is and that it is therefore safe and fine for it to be itself. A child who consistently receives this basic feeling of security will be able to relax and open into allowing its own soul’s truth to flow clearly from it. It will find it easy to make direct and intimate connections with anyone else who is willing to be fully present.
Unfortunately it quite often happens that this initial bonding does not take place. The mother does not open her own soul’s love to that of her child. Perhaps there were difficulties and physical separation at birth, perhaps the mother is distracted and wrapped up in her own fears, maybe the mother is busy trying to be something she is not in order to please or appease others, maybe there is something about the child she reacts to in a negative way which blocks the free flow of her soul’s love. Whatever the cause (and there are many possibilities) the end result is that the child feels disconnected from pure love. Unless the child can see its own angels or there is someone else available to offer the child a pure love connection,  it may come to feel disconnected from Love itself, from the love of Creation that is always there for all beings.
Children who do not experience this initial bonding with pure love will frequently develop the belief about life that love is not naturally there in the world for what they are. Despite this belief, some manage to stay inwardly connected with their own soul and with the knowing that it is an expression of pure love. They will hold this knowing within themselves and can retreat into it, like a safe haven, a warm and golden inner cave. Some remain able to see their angels or connect with ‘imaginary’ friends and so know that they are loved. Others may make loving connections with animals or with nature. Some channel their desire for connection into creative expression. As long as they remain connected to this inner knowing of their own truth and go regularly inwards for the feeling of connection with pure love, they will be relatively safe from the influence of this miasm. However, if their own natural desire to make connections is not completely fulfilled, they remain vulnerable. There is always the possibility that they can still be lured into the miasm by the offer of a connection with someone they love when that offer comes with a requirement that they set aside their own truth.
 I know someone whose mother never connected with her, not in the womb nor thereafter. The mother was already absorbed within the influence of the syphilitic miasm and her thoughts were dominated by the gratification of her own sexual desires and the power that she could wield over men by radiating an intense sexual energy from her base chakra. The child was full of light and pure love and just wanted to radiate this out into the world and make heart/heart connections. The mother had already chosen her own path and did not want to change. She was consistently hostile to this child and constantly critical. It is probable that the purity of the child’s energy filled her with shame and sadness, so she did not really want to see it, let alone make a direct connection with it. The child did however hold onto her own inner world and keep her connection with Creation’s reality pretty much intact. She also developed very close and loving connections with animals. She carefully avoided getting drawn into sexual connections for many years but eventually ended up in such a connection with a man who was already deeply entramelled within the syphilitic miasm. She then engaged in a massive struggle between her desire to remain true to herself and to create her own warm loving reality and her desire to be with this man and go with him along the paths of his choice and into the places that reflected the miasm. The problem she had was her enduring childhood belief/expectation that no-one would want to connect with her truth and that if she wanted a connection with another human being, she would have to cut loose from her own right path and go along theirs. What she needed to understand was that if she stayed really steady with her truth and simply changed her expectation she would naturally attract  the loving connections she desired.

We all need to learn to make our own direct connection with our own inner truth and, through that, with the pure love of Creation. We also need to realise that the clear steady and open radiation of our own truth is the best way to get the kind of connections we truly desire.  This is a lot easier if we begin life with the experience of being met with pure love. It is a lot more difficult without this initial experience of being given pure love as a child. However, it is the only real solution to escaping from the dark prison of this miasm, so it must be done.

Inconstant connection – carrots and sticks
Some children may receive pure love initially only to experience its withdrawal later on as part of the traditional carrot- and -stick -training -of -children -to -behave –appropriately program. Thus the child is given love for certain behaviours and love is withdrawn in the presence of others. This can have the effect of gradually luring it away from its own truth. The effect of this carrot and stick training is greatly intensified if the mother periodically opens her heart completely to the child. Thus the child is tempted by its own memory of actually having had the experience of what it most desires. It has known what it feels like to have a perfect truth/truth, pure love, barrierless connection. It naturally wants to repeat that experience. Mother was the source of this intense pleasure and fulfilment so it seeks ways to reopen her heart. However, if it only gets the carrots of love and approval for behaving in a way that is not natural to its own soul, it is likely to learn to construct facades, to ‘perform’ according to the prevailing requirements. Every time it succeeds in obtaining rewards for one of these performances it is setting itself out along a path of separation. If the offer of carrots for ‘good’ behaviour is combined with the thick stick of a complete withdrawal of love whenever it expresses certain aspects of its own truth, the child is likely to conclude that the direct and whole expression of its own soul is definitely not wanted. It will then pour more and more of its energy and attention into doing whatever gets it a good connection, even if this does mean generating layer upon layer of performances. If all the child’s energy and attention is going into generating the required performances, then there will be little left for the expression of soul’s truth. This causes a gradual separation from its own truth with the option of a long slow and painful path into the miasm.
The other situation that can contribute to the feeling of separation in early childhood is the presence of a mother who is spending most of her time in her own head space. This has turned out to be a commoner predisposing cause of initial feelings of aloneness than I initially expected.
The worst nightmare for those who desire the intensity of direct soul/soul connection is to encounter someone whose soul’s truth is completely inaccessible. Truth may be inaccessible because it is hidden behind defensive barriers and performances or because that person is completely spaced out into the worlds in their own heads. Someone who is distanced/ spaced out into the worlds within their own mind is completely inaccessible to the young child who is naturally real and present in its own body. Thus a mother who is constantly worrying about something, busy running her own social performances or dreaming about something other than what she already has will be inaccessible for direct connection to anyone who cannot share in her head space. Mothers who are affected by the TB miasm are very likely to have this drift of attention away from the present. They don’t believe that life can ever be the way they really want it to be so they slide off into their own longings, their dreams and their fantasies. This means they are not available to the child. Children will often cling closely to the bodies of a mother who is absent in her own head. The body at least is real and feels warm, even if the mother’s soul is not currently being expressed through it.
A young child who is faced with this situation and cannot find alternative connections may choose to retreat into their own inner world, to connect with itself. It may in turn shut others out. Some children get a connection by joining in with the performances. Others concentrate their creative energy on doing everything they can to destroy other’s defensive barriers or draw them out of their own head space. They can become extremely skilled at doing this. Thus a child may find that it needs to be ill or put itself in danger to draw out its mother’s love. It may find it drags her out of her head space by being annoying, by breaking something that is precious to her, by making a noise or by having a tantrum. It may learn to deliberately create shock. It may become adept at this and turn into an adult who consistently flouts social conventions because this is the way it originally learned to get attention. What the child wants is full attention, it wants presence not absence. Ideally it wants the loving attention of the soul but if it cannot obtain that it will settle for any attention, as long as the person who is giving it is real and 100% present. In this search to find ways to draw others into full presence it may take actions that go against its own inner truth. The taking of these actions makes it vulnerable to the syphilitic miasm.

The experience of shock
Some children end up becoming disconnected from their truth as the direct result of an experience of shock. This can happen really rapidly and very early on in the child’s life, sometimes even in the womb. The mother may have very negative feelings towards the pregnancy. These include fear and an expectation of pain from the impending birth, which is quite common in Western society. The child in the womb can easily misinterpret the mother’s fear of the pregnancy and experience it as a fear of itself. This will be a shock. If the mother is afraid of pain and the birth causes her pain, the child can experience itself as the cause of her pain. The child has incarnated to give pure love. It will be a shock for it to be seen by its mother as a cause of pain, fear and distress to her.
When a mother doesn’t really want the pregnancy, she may direct very negative feelings towards the baby in her womb, including anger. The baby hasn’t done anything with intent to harm. It hasn’t done anything except be there and grow! So when it picks up her negative feelings towards itself it is likely to conclude that the simple being of itself is not wanted or is causing distress or anger to others. I have quite often found that the baby in this situation tends to retreat inwards, to keep itself small. This pattern of shrinking inwards is then often retained in later life. Thus a grown  adult may end up going into a retreat of his/her own truth when faced with an external trigger that reminds him or her of the negative energy that was originally experienced within the womb.
A similar situation occurs if the young child’s truth is directly attacked and especially when it seems to create fear or distress in others. There is an initial shock. The belief that its truth is the direct cause of the anger or distress is then internalised and retained.
If a baby or young child is led to believe that what it is is not wanted, it may learn to conceal its truth and present only what appears to be acceptable. However, if it comes to believe that its truth is not only not wanted but also actively harmful or distressing to others, then it is more likely to self-separate from its own inner knowing of its own truth.  If what it is seems to be a cause of harm and distress to others, then it will disconnect from what it is. It may then deliberately exile itself from its own golden cave of inner warmth and safety.
Unfortunately it often happens that the stronger the soul’s initial desire to bring pure love into the world the more likely it is to disconnect from its own truth following any experience where its truth seemed to cause suffering to others. Instead of offering the truth of its own soul to the world, it sets it aside and instead seeks to give anything that does appear to be wanted. It may even take the approach that it must seek out whatever it can do to make amends for having caused this suffering. This makes it hugely vulnerable to being influenced by others to take actions that betray its own true nature. This type of early experience makes it really vulnerable to the syphilitic miasm.
I have seen many people whose problems stem from this type of experience in childhood. They will put all their energy into endlessly compensating for their own imaginary guilt. You may see their truth as glimpses of light, but they will not allow themselves to receive any love for that truth. They believe that their truth is a cause of harm and have made the commitment to set it aside so they do not want to be encouraged to express it by the experience of being loved for it. These people are often very difficult to love! It seems that they constantly thwart any giving of love for their truth even though at the core of their being this will be what they most desire.
Consequences of Facades and performances
It is only the flow of your own soul’s truth into life that brings you into intimate connection with the pure love of Creation and with the essence of all beings who are also expressing the truth of their own souls. So all attempts to create truly loving and fulfilling connections by the use of facades and performances are basically doomed!
 Although someone who is constantly generating facades and performances can never engage in a truly intimate soul/soul connection, they can however usually manage to obtain more superficial connections. If you are expressing a façade, you may be able to generate the semblance of intimacy when you spend time with others who are expressing the same type of façade. You may be able to find a role that you can play in someone else’s performance or you may find people who are willing to take up a role in your chosen dramas. Thus people can feel ‘close’ to others who have the same opinions, beliefs, attitudes, style of dress, taste in music, literature or football teams etc. They can also engage in apparently intimate dramas such as the ‘victim/abuser/protector’, ‘boss/slave’, ‘needy and carer’ ‘I adore my version of you and you adore your version of me’ or they can play out various versions of the conventional ‘man/woman/child’ scenarios that are developed within each society. (You can tell when you or someone else is engaging in one of these performances because it tends to have a dead, dull feel. It is likely to be very boring and repetitive and have an “I- have- heard- all- this- before” feeling about it. So it doesn’t engage your total absorbed attention. The flow of soul’s truth is always new and beautiful and riveting. It shines.)
We already know that the worst thing that can happen to someone with an intense desire to connect with the essence of all things (know God) is to separate completely from his or her own soul’s truth. Performances tend to lead towards this complete separation. For a performance to be really convincing you need to engage with it fully, giving it all your attention. If the performance gets the results that you want and the engagement then becomes frequent, you may forget who you really are and come to believe that you are your performance.
Someone who has only partly separated from their own truth for the sake of a performance may still be able to see and recognise the presence of truth in others and will naturally want to connect with it. However if they have committed themselves to obtaining connections through performances, they will have great difficulty in connecting properly with that truth, although it might be easier for them to do so in a one to one situation away from the triggers that normally tip them into producing their facades. If you have ever felt really close to someone when they were alone with you and then noticed them suddenly shift into a distant, separated and false seeming state in the presence of others, then it is likely that at least one of those others is acting as a trigger for a retreat of truth and the production of a performance façade. (Best to be compassionate here in whatever way you would  like others to be should you happen to react in a similar way to your own triggers!)
When someone already believes that their truth is not wanted and they conceive a desire to connect with another person who is committed to being completely true to themselves, they know that they will have to bring their own truth fully forward. This would have the effect of bringing back all their old fears, painful memories and expectations of their own truth not being wanted. They may not want to expose themselves to a repetition of the original blow to their own inner being, so it may feel a lot safer to retreat or seek out some alternative method of connection like getting the other person to feel sorry for them. If they have also acquired the belief that their truth is actually harmful to others, they would not even want to offer it to someone they cared for or admired.  So they will be endlessly frustrated, afraid to express their own soul and so feeling that they having nothing to give to the other which will be equal to the truth that this other is already flowing. This is why it will often seem far easier for them to limit themselves to associating only with those who are doing the performances that fit in with their own.
 
It can seem well nigh impossible for those who believe that their truth is a source of suffering to others to step out of their fear and expectations and start accessing their own truth and expressing it. Nevertheless they must do it if they want to get free of the miasm. It will help them to know that they can do it, that they are supported by Spirit to do it and that there will be no judgement or retribution from Spirit’s reality, only a welcome home.  All truth is wanted. To believe otherwise is to be mistaken.

Some problems created by the belief in unforgivable sin
“There shall be more joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth than over ninety and nine just persons that need no repentance”   The Bible

The beliefs in unforgivable sin and eternal damnation were probably (to give religion and ‘morality’ the benefit of the doubt!) originally generated to try to help people avoid actions that would lead to separation and so to protect them from things like this miasm and maybe from syphilis itself. However these beliefs have inadvertently strengthened the power of this miasm.
If you should take an action for which you believe there is no forgiveness and no possibility of atonement, then you may not feel that it is possible to make redress. Instead you will retain and internalise your sadness, shame and guilt and accept the darkness of separation as your just or inevitable deserts.  Then the syphilitic miasm can claim you and draw you into its dark, unforgiving world.
However, the truth is that there is no such thing as eternal damnation within Creation’s reality. The belief that there are certain actions for which there can be no forgiveness or atonement is an illusion created entirely by man. Creation’s reality is pure love and pure love never casts anyone out, no matter what they have done. Pure love just waits for their return to truth and subsequent reconnection with its light, leaving the offer open until they are ready. It is our own guilt and shame and the rejection of our own actions that we project onto Creation. We make God/Creation the supposed source of judgement and condemnation but the source is really ourselves. The truth is that there is no action that cannot be embraced in Creation’s compassion. No matter what anyone has done, they can always choose to return to light, the door is always open for them to reconnect with Creation’s reality. There is no eternal damnation or separation in that reality. The belief that such separation is possible is simply a part of this miasm’s illusory reality and this miasm has been created by the thoughts, actions and feelings of mankind over centuries of judgement. It has nothing to do with god
Although religion has generated ideas about judgement and damnation for centuries in order to try to keep people on the path of truth, the adherence to a belief that there are certain actions for which there can be no forgiveness or atonement is actually strongly counterproductive to the expression of truth as it will inevitably lead to an increase in the number of acts of separation.: Once a person believes he or she is already damned by their own actions, they are more likely to continue with such actions. They may also be tempted to take actions that draw others into a similar state of separation in order to provide themselves with company in their aloneness.
It is understandable that it is going to be intensely painful for someone who has been separated to watch from their own cold surrounding darkness and see innocence beauty, truth and light pouring out of others. When they believe they can never attain that state again, it can seem like a knife in the heart or even a taunt. They do however have a choice as to how they are going to react to the presence of light in others.
 Those who have a strong innate sense of respect may try to avoid all contact with the inner light of others in order to make sure that they do not contaminate anyone else with their darkness. If they do not want to connect with others in the separated state because they know within themselves that the separated state is not where they want to be, they may choose to keep themselves in a state of isolation. Their feelings of aloneness can then become so unbearable that they may be driven to seek relief from drugs like the opiates, which temporarily relieve the painful feelings of aloneness or they may choose to take alcohol to an anaesthetic level in order to numb the pain.  In extreme cases they will choose death, either through the drugs they have chosen or some other means including fatal accident, illness or straightforward suicide.
If someone with syphilitic miasm  experiences themselves as irreversibly contaminated as a result of his or her own actions, the deliberate taking of his or her own life (whether by suicide, ‘accident’ or fatal illness) can  often be more like an act of atonement that an act of cowardice or retreat. From the perspective of a deep immersion in the syphilitic miasm’s reality, death can become the only remaining available act of love. These individuals can experience themselves as giving the world a gift by removing themselves from it. They generally don’t believe they have anything else worth giving so they offer their death. If you watched the Alien series of films, you may remember that Sigourney Weaver’s character throws herself into a massive vat of boiling metal when she realises that she is carrying a vicious and dangerous alien within her own body. (Will Smith recently starred in a very powerful film on a similar theme called Seven Pounds. Worth watching but I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you by telling you the story!)          

Others try to alleviate the painful feelings of separation by seeking out company in dark places, searching for others to share the aloneness. When someone experiences themselves as alone and eternally separated from light, beauty and love, one of the few things that will give them some relief from their pain is to keep company with others who are equally separated. One possible way to obtain such company would be to simply seek out people places, music art and literature that are already in resonance with their own state of separation. This in itself is fair enough. Although it doesn’t offer any solutions to the separation, it does at least provide the comfort of companionship in that state. There is plenty of music, literature, film and stuff on the internet that could reassure them they are not alone in their separated state and there are places they can go where the darkness is blatant and people they can be with who are equally self-condemned.. The separation from light is still there within each individual but their grouping together may do something to reassure themselves that they are not really alone. Some may even try to justify their position by generating a belief amongst themselves that they are the only ones who know what life is really like (Generally a f****** bitch and then you die! Predictably enough,  syph loves the f… word!)
When someone feels totally overwhelmed by darkness and heavily contaminated by this miasm it may not be enough for them to seek out similar company. They may also be tempted to add to that company by passing their own darkness on to others. Because their own connection to light  has been lost and they feel hurt angry and resentful, they may deliberately seek out those who are radiating pure light and go about contaminating their innocence and generating guilt and feelings of worthlessness and separation in them. This is like someone who knows they have syphilis (or A.I.D.S these days) deliberating drawing someone else into a sexual encounter knowing that other person then has a high chance of contracting the disease. It is understandable that such actions should be followed by a deep feeling of guilt.
Those who pass on the darkness to the innocent have two types of motivation. They may be seeking to reconnect with light or they may be seeking to destroy it. The more deeply convinced they become that they can never reconnect with the light, the more likely they are to seek to destroy light in others.
 When someone is intensely aware of their own separation and yet also aware of the lingering presence of a desire to be connected with light, they may instinctively be drawn to those who are radiating light. But they have nothing to offer as a fair exchange for the connection they desire. They see themselves as guilty and internally tangled with the darkness and they innately know that the fair exchange would be pure light for pure light, so what can they offer to someone who is radiating light and clearly surrounded by it? They may start off by faking the light. They may even manage to let the other person’s clear radiance generate a mirroring so they simply reflect the light back. This will not be sustainable. They may offer something other than true inner light like devotion, adoration or maybe money, status, power or whatever they perceive the other person might want. They may offer sexual gratification (the syph is an expert in this department!) They may try to draw in the connection they desire by emanating need or suffering in order to elicit pity or compassion. Nevertheless, what they really crave is the light/light, truth/truth connection and being surrounded by someone else’s compassion is a poor substitute for being fully connected with the light and love of Creation and feeling it flow freely both from within and around yourself.
The only way to get a light/light connection is to access and radiate your own inner light. Any attempts to manipulate or pressurise others to give you what you want will be useless if what you really want is a reconnection with light. Interfering with another being’s free will can only serve to increase any existing feelings of separation from the inner light of your own soul’s truth and the outer light of Creation’s love. This will inevitably take you further and further away from the desired truth/truth connection. But if you believe that your own actions have already condemned you to a permanent state of separation you will not see the return to your own truth as an option. So it comes about that some of those who are already completely wrapped round with the syphilitic miasm’s dark reality may end up feeling  tempted to do all they can to wrap that same darkness round others. They are particularly likely to choose those who remind them of their own lost state of innocence, beauty and light. They feel deeply jealous. That light is painful to them. So they may deliberately go about polluting that innocence, smearing it and injecting it with their own sense of corruption, shame and guilt in order to create a separation in the previously innocent individual that is similar to the separation within themselves.
The syphilitic miasm is expert at injecting its own darkness into others. Thus it becomes one of the main energy patterns underlying the abuse of the innocent, whether that abuse is mental, physical or emotional. 
It is easy to inject an innocent child with darkness as it has no defence. A young child does not anticipate attack because whenever it is simply offering its own truth, warmth love and light with an open heart it naturally expects the same in return. A returning inflow of attack, judgement, fear or the intense pain of jealous hatred that leaks out from those who feel separated whenever they are confronted with light will be a massive shock to such a child. This type of shock can temporarily disintegrate the child’s aura. Then there is no resistance to anything the syphilitic individual wants to inject into the child. Very often the injection includes “It’s your fault.” So a child may end up suffering sexual abuse, violence, mental or emotional cruelty for no reason other that that it was simply being its beautiful true and open self in the presence of someone who felt eternally separated from his or her own truth. Such a child will often end up believing there is something wrong with what it really is.  It may then decide to shut down its own truth. This may be because it becomes afraid to be itself in case of further attack or it may be because it takes in the guilt, shame and pain of its abuser and innocently believes itself to be responsible. It may then conclude that the fault is with itself, within its own nature, that what it naturally is must be intrinsically bad. Thus it is primed by the incoming syphilitic invasion to set out upon its own path towards immersion in the darkness of this miasm. If the child does eventually take this dark syphilitic path, then the individual who has primed it to do so will have to bear the additional burden of the guilt which inevitably arises from having caused harm to others.  
People who are heavily involved with the syph are also often inclined to attack others’ beliefs about life. If you were to feel permanently condemned to live in torment and darkness it would be painful to see others living in happiness and light. So it might be more comfortable to believe that those who radiate light are living within an illusory reality. So you might want to find ways of dismissing and discrediting those who hold to their own inner light and to a belief in the loving reality of Creation. This is why some people who are deeply affected by this miasm may choose to brand all believers in the existence of a love based reality as deluded, ignorant, unscientific and general wearers of several layers of rose tinted spectacles and consider them to be living in a cloud cuckoo land woven from their own unrealistic fantasies! They may even call them insane. (Did you know that one of the criteria which defines the presence of schizophrenia is that the person genuinely believes they can communicate with spiritual beings!?) Unfortunately this dismissive approach can work against their own return to reconnection with light. Convincing themselves and others that the horrible dark and contorted reality they are living in is actually the only ‘real’ reality  brings about a very short term gain as they are effectively doing all they can to trash and dismiss  those who have the potential to support and inspire them to return to connection with their own inner truth.
If you encounter someone with this mission to dismiss and destroy your own vision of the always available presence of a loving reality then it will help you to stay steady in your own beliefs if you exercise compassion. Compassion helps to create a buffer zone around your truth. Don’t pity them, whatever you do. This will either arouse their scorn and ire or encourage them to play victim and recruit you as protector! Your compassion needs to contain a clear awareness of what has happened to them and why they are so determined to bring everyone else down.  Sometimes it helps to be aware that they are likely to be attacking you with whatever was used to attack them as a child. Stay detached and centered. Be careful not to be drawn in! It’s better to walk away than to engage in their drama. It’s better
yet if you can manage to calmly and steadily offer the truth of what you really believe with complete conviction and a fully open heart.
Sometimes I sense that people who engage these ferocious attacks don’t really want to see the other person crumble. What they really want is to see the other person stay steady. They want to experience the truth flowing off that person. Remember, their fundamental desire is an open connection with truth. If you are willing to openly offer your truth and express it completely, they will be able to feel it directly and it will satisfy them. They have been met. This is what they want – to be met. They don’t want to be avoided and evaded, they don’t want you to retreat behind a wall of defences. They want you to come fully forward with what you are and what you feel and believe. Many people find that when they come fully forward in this way, the attack from someone with this miasm just naturally subsides. You have to come forward with your whole being though. It is no good coming forward with, say, logical argument or quoting other people’s words. You have to expose your own soul and express it with the pure love that it is. Each time you bring your own inner truth fully to the fore you are opening a doorway to the truth that lies behind it, the truth that is the source of your being, the reality of Creation. This is what people with the miasm really want to directly experience.
When I was young I could never believe in ‘god’ because I had no evidence, no direct experience. People in church and Sunday school talked about ‘god is Love’  but they also seemed to me to be full of judgements and instructions about the ‘good’ behaviour that was necessary to acquire that love. I knew myself well enough to realise that I was impossibly distant from the ideas of perfection that were being presented to me (particularly the Christian idea of willing sacrifice!). Also my own limited personal experiences of love felt radically different from the teachings I received. So I pretty soon decided that there was no such thing as god and that I was not going to give any lip or other service to the concept. When I was at school I often wouldn’t join in with the saying of the Lord’s prayer because to say it felt like lying. I also naturally refused to be confirmed on the grounds that I didn’t believe in god so how could I honestly take part in a ceremony that was supposed to confirm such a belief. At this time and in my particular school the refusal to be confirmed was unusual, unless of course you were Jewish. (In fact a refusal to obey any of the customary rules and regulations was unusual!) However, because I made this decision, a few other girls in my house decided the same. This got me the label of rebellious, which I didn’t mind because it was true enough, and rebel leader, which was not true because I never actually did anything to actively persuade anyone else to join in with my own refusing to be confirmed. It also generated enough concern among the staff to try to do something about it. So one day they made all the confirmation refusers go into the housemistresses study and brought in a monk to talk to us. He was from the Order of the Rising Sun and came to us in a monk’s habit. His face was unattractive and his manner was unimpressive and humble so, being an arrogant and judgemental teenager at the time, I kept myself pretty distant from whatever he was saying, assuming it was just going to be another meaningless sermon. Then he began to talk about god. I realise now that he was talking about his own personal vision of god, not about the traditional church version. He was completely transformed. He looked beautiful. Pure love and light streamed freely from him. I knew that he totally believed what he was saying. It was the first time I had ever encountered someone who spoke of god in this way. I lost all desire to argue or raise objections. I still didn’t believe that God existed but I did believe that this man’s love was genuine and that he believed what he was telling us. Before he left he said he would pray for me. Instead of feeling patronised and filled with the scorn and anger I  normally experienced when someone made this kind of offer, I felt completely open to it and even grateful.

Guilt - true and false Guilt, Shame and Feelings of Inner Rightness
Here is a delightful and very salient commentary on guilt taken from Alexander McCall Smith’s entertaining  novel  ‘The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs’ (for your greater entertainment try imagining this being spoken by Hugh Lauwrie in a typical mock up of an Austrian psychoanalyst’s accent, which  is how I first heard it)   
Priest (in confessional) : “ Guilt is natural, it is a way in which the superego asserts itself in the face of the primitive anarchic urges of the id . It acts as a way of establishing psychic balances between the various parts of the personality. But we should not let it consume us.  Guilt fuels neurosis. A small measure of guilt is healthy. It affirms the intuitive sense of what is right or wrong. But if you become too focussed on what you have done wrong then you can become an obsessive neurotic.”   “ I am sorry”  said von Igelfeld, “ I totally am sorry for what I have done. Please forgive me.” “Oh, you’re absolved.” said the priest, “That goes almost without saying . God is very forgiving these days - He’ s moved on. He forgives everything in fact.   What you have to do now is repair the damage you have caused.  You must go and see this Unterholtzer and say to him that you are sorry you have lied about him and ask for his forgiveness.”

The deepest feelings of guilt you are ever likely to encounter will probably have their origins in the influence of this miasm. Guilt is fundamental to the syphilitic miasm and to its propagation. The feelings of guilt and shame underpin the syphilitic miasm because it is the persistence and accumulation of these feelings that lead to the experience of the self as permanently separated from creation’s light. However, this accumulation does not need to happen if guilt is properly understood and used for the purpose it is there for.
In this context it is important to be clear about the proper function of guilt and to distinguish between true guilt and false guilt, as the guilt that suffuses the miasm is generally a mixture of both of these.
True guilt is felt whenever we take an action that goes against our own soul’s true nature. False guilt is created when we are actually operating from our own truth and someone else projects onto us that we are causing them harm. False guilt is also created when we ourselves we make a mistaken assumption that the suffering of others is a direct consequence of the expression of our truth.
Guilt and shame are both useful to us, like all other negative and painful feelings. Guilt is part of the group of emotions that warn us when we are going against our own inner truth. (Sadness is another one that is potentially very useful in this regard and so is fear) Shame is really an extension of guilt. You feel guilt whenever you knowingly take a wrong action, or even when you are thinking about taking it. You are more likely to feel shame when you have actually caused harm by that action.
True guilt and shame are basically preventatives.  They help us to avoid acts of separation from our own truth and from Creation’s reality. They push you away from wrong action as surely as physical pain makes you withdraw your hand from a hot stove.  They are valuable to us partly because they are useful indicators of acts of separation and partly because they are so unpleasant that they discourage us from further such acts! Complete disconnection from source is a terrifying experience. No-one wants to feel empty inside in a space of nothingness and darkness, which is what happens when we become completely separated. Guilt and shame are basically trying to protect you from reaching that position of extreme separation. They make it harder for you by tormenting you every time you either take or consider taking any act of separation. The other really good thing about them is that they don’t go away just because you want them to or do your best to forget about them! They nag and nag at you until you do something to make amends.
We should be as grateful to them as we would be to anyone who did something that held us back from certain injury or destruction, even if they did cause us some pain in the process!

True guilt
We have on this earth the potential to generate a perfect material expression of Creation’s already perfect reality. We have an opportunity to bring about physical forms and actions that directly reflect  the light forms  that arise from pure love. We each have the option to give a material expression to some small aspect of the blueprint in the mind of god. Whenever someone takes any action that arises direct from their soul, they will be generating a  piece of perfection, bringing a portion of creations reality into a form that is available for everyone else to enjoy. This is of benefit to both the giver and those around the giver. The benefit often also spreads much further afield as such actions always make it easier for others to take action from within their own souls. Thus the harmony expands.
Whenever someone takes an action that goes against their own soul, against their own feelings of inner rightness and against the clear dictates of their own heart, then this creates a dark and ugly form instead of the potential light and beauty that could be there in that same  place. In small doses it’s like someone throwing a tin can or plastic bag out into a beautiful landscape. In large doses it’s like the expanses of discarded litter that cover the fields after the Glastonbury festival or the filth and waste that contaminates the streets in Southern India.  
Part of the true nature of each being is to express its own unique beauty through listening inwards to its own truth and letting that truth flow outwards into perfect expression. Another part of each soul’s truth is to give love and support to the expression of truth in others. If we allow ourselves to listen inward and trust what feels right and good inside, we will end up expressing each of these aspects of ourselves appropriately and each in their own right time and place
Whenever you take an action that separates you from your own truth and, therefore from your own connection to source, you will feel true guilt. If the action would have been some creative expression of your own inner being, then the guilt will be towards yourself, towards the life you could have had if you had stayed true to your own nature. You will also feel guilty towards Creation because you have betrayed your own brief. You had something unique and beautiful to bring into the world, the essence of your own soul, which would have been your most loving and perfect contribution to the whole. Yet you chose to express something else, something untrue, and thereby created a patch of darkness where there could have been a glow of light.  You suffer as a result of this choice and the world around you is that bit less beautiful than it could have been.
 If you should take an action that not only goes against your own soul but also results in the shutdown of another being’s truth, you will also automatically feel true guilt. Your action has been the external pressure that has caused them to betray their own truth with all the consequences to them and to their life that this betrayal naturally entails. You yourself will thus have betrayed that part of your own true nature whose function and fulfilment is to support truth in others. This will take you even deeper into guilt and the darkness of separation from Creations true reality. In each such action you can feel doubly damned – damned by your  own separation from your  own truth and damned by whatever it is you have done that separated someone else from theirs.
Actions that affect others have the most power to create separation when those actions involve beings whom you have undertaken to nurture –such as young children or animals. If another adult should choose to take offence and withdraw his/her own truth because of something you said or did (like forgetting their birthday!), then you are likely to have far less responsibility and possibly none at all. Providing the other person is actually capable of choosing to access and express their own truth, even if you generated the trigger that has stimulated them to withdraw their truth, you are not actually responsible for their choice to do so, even if they try to convince you that you are (see section on Victim Games). However if the other person is not fully capable of choosing to express their own truth, you will have at least some responsibility for any negative effects of your own action. This applies to those who are very weak and vulnerable for some reason and to anyone you have undertaken to nurture.
Whenever you take on the nurturing of another being you are temporarily in the place of Creation. It is up to you to support the truth of their soul as best you can. If your choice of wrong action makes it more difficult for them to be true to themselves then you will inevitably experience true guilt.
Some individuals who are fully aware of their own inner darkness may respectfully  choose to deny themselves all opportunities of nurturing, rather than risk the additional separation of passing on their own darkness to someone they have undertaken to nurture.  Thus a woman who is aware that she has been penetrated by her own mother’s deeply negative beliefs and has not yet managed to eradicate them from her own thoughts and feelings may decide not to have children of her own rather than risk passing on what was done to her. I once had a client who was dying of a brain tumour. The underlying energy within the tumour was the presence of sexual feelings towards young girls. This man had a little girl of his own.  He honourably chose to generate his own death rather than risk contaminating her with his sexual feelings. I have seen other similar cases where someone develops a life threatening illness as a way of preventing themselves from indulging their own hatred or jealousy of a particular child.
The sad thing is that such deaths are needless. They could have been prevented if these people had realised that they still had a choice to return to their own inner light and make amends (so their deaths count as another black mark for the purveyors of beliefs in eternal damnation).
True guilt it is always accompanied by a true desire to make amends. Whenever you have done something that goes against your own soul’s truth, you will innately and naturally want to make amends. Even if no-one else knows what you have done, you will still know. Shame and/or guilt will torment you until you seek out atonement. This is one of the ways that balance is maintained in the world. A person cannot go on and on indefinitely taking actions that go against their own soul. Sooner or later they will either have to make amends or organise their own destruction. When they have taken the right action to make amends, then the guilt and shame will go away and they will feel at peace. This may take more than one lifetime if they carried steadily on a particular negative path during the whole of one life and either did not listen to the warning of their guilt or give themselves  time to make amends.
Once you have accepted the guilt and the responsibility for your own wrong action, the right action to make amends will arise within you as an inner knowing, the same as all other acts of rightness. The prospect of being able to make amends brings with it a prospect of relief of the guilt, the shame and the separation. I think this is what karma is. I see it as the unfulfilled desire to make amends, to put right what was done wrong in another life by doing it differently. I don’t see it as something we have to do because I see Creation as infinitely compassionate and allowing us complete freedom of choice. However, I do see it as something we choose to do, because we want to, because it feels better, because we want to rejoin the harmony and redress any imbalance we may have caused.

Not the end- not yet happy enough!

To follow :

Atonement for true guilt, understanding false guilt and how it happens Syph and sex , Syph and power issues. Overcoming Syph in yourself. Dealing with syph in others Undoing the effects of judgement

I am on the case but this is a bit of a mission! Happy to hear about any type or information errors and any good quotes you may come across or any good examples of syphylitic villiany or syphylitic reform! e mail me on helenfordhealing@yahoo.co.uk . I have also made some good remedies for the syph.if you think you need help with it.